New Beginnings

Thoughts on motivation for the new year.
Question everything.

In keeping with my new found openness to celebrating things that I have been resistant to celebrating in the past, I've been looking for ways in which I can feel honest in celebrating the new year. Finding a reason to get drunk is no longer enticing. It is interesting to see how things that we hold dear become arbitrary when you look at them on a grander scale. Rudolph the red nose reindeer was the product of the imagination of a Montgomery Ward marketing specialist in 1939. That's a nice way to distract from the world being at war and to sell things. The calendar year for me is just as arbitrary. Every great civilization has their own way of keeping track of the passage of time. However, I like the idea of celebrating new beginnings. We all have things that we want to change. Habitual thoughts, actions, thoughts about past actions. We all yearn for the clean slate. While the calendar page turning won't magically erase your habitual tendencies, January 1st has become something that symbolizes the idea of new beginnings and a fresh start.
I want you to think about the concept of motivation in your life and how it applies to getting a fresh start. Motivations applies to your life every minute of every day because everything you do has some basis in your mind for its completion. Being unable to resist scratching your face while in savasana is an indication of a mind that is resistant to relaxation. It may just seem like an itch but you're distracting yourself. If you don't scratch that itch it will eventually go away. Try it. Similarly, in uncomfortable social circumstances there are certain emotional cues that can be seen in your body language that you may not even notice or try to do purposefully. When you're anxious you're going to touch or scratch or move. It is one of the ways we express ourselves when we feel like we can't really express ourselves openly. There's always a reason why you do something and every time you say "I don't know why I did that" you're hiding something from yourself.
Our yoga practice is the way to get down to the bottom of some of the things we don't want to know about ourselves. 

When considering resolutions this year, first consider why. What is the foundation in your mind behind the drive to change that particular thing? Is it a result if outside pressure or an internal imperative? The hows are not as important. Deciding to make the change will help make the hows happen. But if you're not clear on the why you won't have the proper motivation to break deep seated habits. And that is definitely the only way to effect change. 

Samaskara is the sanskrit word for habits. They are the ruts that form when you repeat the same action many times. Here is an example of a phenomenon experienced in the ancient world being "proven" by modern science. It is an established fact of medicine that the more often you use a set of brains cells, the link between them strengthens and you're more likely to use that set of cells in the future. Neuroplasticity is the brains ability to create new links between previously unlinked brain cells. This is what is needed to break samaskaras. Its tricky to think about either way. A different language. Lately I've been imagining my ruts filled with water. That way from the top it looks as if they're filled. That way if I fall in I float to the top instead of hanging out at the bottom. 

New beginnings are possible you've just got to find the right tack. Let everyday hold the possibility of new beginnings. 

As you practice (live) be aware of why. Not to analyze but to know. 

Peace on Earth & Goodwill Toward Men

I was raised Roman Catholic but I have chosen not to believe in Jesus as my own personal savior. You can go ahead and pray for my soul if it makes you feel better. I believe in a lot of things but I don't like celebrating Christmas because Christmas is a celebration of Jesus and his birth. Not that I don't think Jesus deserves to be celebrated because he seems to have been a very good human being but it's not what I believe so I've really resisted celebrating for many years. But, I have kids and I'm prone to my own kind of peer pressure. I have come to enjoy buying gifts for people at this time of year. I needed to figure it out so that it made sense to me and I wasn't doing something just because everyone else was. 
This year I have been struck by signs that people have put up, decorations that bear the word peace. In my determination to not be swayed by the opinions of others and celebrate something that I don't really believe, I forgot some of what is really good about the holiday season. It does still gall me that these practices are not put in to practice during the year as often as they are at this time of year but I guess it's better that they are put into practice at all. 
I'd like to focus this week specifically on peace. It can be difficult concept to employ and I agree that peace needs to happen on an individual basis before there's any hope of it happening on a grander scale. 

What if we included the concept of peace in our gift giving this year. I don't mean that we don't buy gifts for anybody because I see how much fun that is. But what about including in our gifts something that helps make lives more peaceful.

I love giving massages and I don't mean physically handing out massages. I mean giving gift certificates so that people can go and get massages. I've discovered that getting them to use it is a different challenge altogether but I think a massage is something most of the people that I know need. 

So this week, not only am I thinking about all of the stuff that I have to wrap that I purchased for my children but the ways in which I can better myself to give their lives more peace. If they can grow up with that calm tranquility inside of themselves then they will diffuse it to the world and it will be a rarity to find young people with a sense of purpose, a sense of groundedness. That's not to say that they'll always have it. There will still be hormones and peer pressure. I'm sure we all still have those distractions and challenges in our lives from time to time, but if we took a moment to consider the possibilities of sharing peace in our lives we will take important steps toward spreading it and having the chance of making it stick.

We will practice asana in a way that lets the breath lead; allows the breath to be the peacemaker, as my teacher has said. Do not move in a way that compromises your breath. Allow your attitude toward your efforts in practice to be one of calm contemplation. You do not need to push harder, just breathe deeper. The choices you make that create shallow, erratic breath should be avoided, while anything you do that creates calm, deep, smooth breathing should be encouraged. There are practices that will push you to your limits and those practices have value, but that is not the goal this week. 

Keep What Inspires You in Front of You

My teacher says it is important to keep what inspires you in front of you. I submit that is doubly important at this time of year. When it is so much easier to sit down and stay, or to get overwhelmed by the holidays, it is increasingly important that you have whatever it is that inspires you to get up, that makes you more determined, in your way as much as possible.

This week we will take a moment to fix whatever it is that inspires you to continue to persevere in your practice against whatever is daunting squarely in your mind and keep it there as we practice.
It could be anything. Divine, family, friends, trees, animals, a phrase, a feeling. Think about what works for you and bring it with you (mentally). We will try to embody that inspiration as much as possible.

Being Very Present and Being Able to Act in the Moment

I was listening to the radio one day and heard musicians giving an interview. One said, of her collaboration with her partner, that you have to be very present and be able to react in the moment in order to play music with anybody. 

That speaks directly to what we touched upon last week in talking about the withdrawal of the senses. In order to be that focused, in order to be that present, you need to be able to focus. It helps to do something you love as much as musicians love music. The practice of pratyahara can be incredibly useful to your day-to-day life. The practice enables you to be more focused as you become less distracted by the world a large. You then have the opportunity and the resources to be able to know your internal states better. 

So, once you practice drawing your senses inside and the world is a little less in your face, so to speak, what do you do with all of the stuff that comes up from your mind now that you have a better ability to notice it?

The external distractions are only part of what can occupy your mind. There is also all of the internal states that seem to arise unbidden when you manage to find the time to sit still for any length of time. There is the possibility of moving past the seemingly random thoughts that flit through your mind. The ancients of yoga sat still quietly for long enough to discern several aspects of mind. One of which stores information, another which has the ability to direct our thoughts. 

It takes bravery to be able to cultivate the will to sit still and watch. The key word is watch. The ability to watch thoughts without having to engage the story line takes discipline. Luckily you have all the tools you need to do it. You just have to believe it. That may seem trite, but it is the only way its going to work. If you've been practicing for any length of time, you know this to be true. You begin to notice the increase in capability. That eventually sinks in and you believe in yourself more and more, which means you can do more than you thought possible.

Something I've been working on lately is giving myself the freedom from tomorrow. Similar to the idea that telling yourself to have sound sleep will help you have sound sleep, I have been taking time in the evenings to let go of the anticipation if tomorrow. There are always things I want to accomplish, particularly getting up before the kids to practice yoga. I find I am most successful at this endeavor when I purposefully let go of the tension I feel around whether or not I will accomplish it. 

The way you can be the most present is by taking time to contemplate your reactions, coupled with yoga and meditation to cultivate the will to move away from those reactions. And surround yourself with people who you want to be present with. Be choosy with who you spend your spare time with. It is precious, and if you can fill it with people who are supportive of your efforts, you will even more successful.

Shift Your Perspective (Pratyahara)

Pratyahara is the withdrawal of the senses from the external world. This week, give yourself a chance to exist without all the distractions.
I practice mindfulness is much as possible but, it's particularly difficult while I'm in the shower to stay focused on the process. I'm just so habitual with it that it's automatic and I don't have to focus. My mind wanders, my ability to notice my surrounding fades in and out with my attention to my thoughts. It would be confusing to try to watch a movie if they made the movie the way we actually existed in the world, with these pauses in our attention to our surroundings to layer over memory or emotion or whatever we happened to be distracted by. That's our whole lives, spent in and out of our external environment trying to match up what's inside with what's outside and vice versa.
Hopefully, you get so focused on yoga that it becomes something that is all-consuming (in the best possible way). Have you ever read a book or watch a movie or painted a picture or listened to a song where you got so involved in it, so ensconced in what you were doing or what you were experiencing, that the rest of the world went away? That's the practice of pratyahara. 

We spent so much time in our senses, it makes sense that we would be easily depressed and more stagnant, more prone to be still in the winter. Everything about the weather outside is telling us to be home. This, of course, is just for our area of the world. Other areas of the world are experiencing the hottest time of their year at this point, so it's all about perspective. 

We all have a foundational idea or concept that we base our existence on. My parents always believed strongly that there was more good in people than evil and because I was raised with that idea from a very young age, that is my perspective on everything that people do in the world. Which gives me a lot of hope when I see all of the horrible things that happen because of people. I'm well aware that is not everyone's basis as they grow. Sometimes a parent's point of view can be entrenched in child and it gives them less skills to deal with the bad things that happen. It may be harder to shift a perspective that was set in childhood but it is not impossible. 
So, there is a dual purpose to the practice of pratyahara. Not only does it provide relief from the constant barrage of stimuli entering your mind, it allows for your attention to focus on the mind and its' machinations. It's another way you can create that "at home" space within yourself, by knowing yourself better.

It may be daunting to see and feel and smell and taste all of the ways in which it is cold and dark and not that much fun outside but it is possible to control your senses so that you are not as overwhelmed by their input. And then you are calmer & more peaceful. And, just maybe, you're a skier or a snowboarder, or a ice skater, or a snowshoer, or a cross country skier. There's lots of ways to enjoy the dark and cold.

Exploring Your Motivations

Why? 

Every decision you make, the way you choose to feel, or the reactions that occur that seem out of your control, each has a basis in yourself somewhere. Each one of us is motivated by something. It could be avoidance of pain or the search of pleasure, the two main forms of suffering as Patanjali tells us in the Yoga Sutra.
In the article below you'll find a new program that helps leaders to become more mindful. It is a combination of modern science and ancient wisdom that combines to assist people to become very aware. This awareness, this mindful living, allows one to reach a more peaceful inner state. When you know how you feel and the reasons for that feeling, you can begin to make gradual changes which result in your increased wellbeing.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6061586
This week we will strive to keep the at home feeling and from that nonthreatening, non judgy place, watch how you decide. What is your motivation for your choices? Every minute of every day is spent making decisions. You can probably feel the overwhelmed sensation at the end of a particularly busy or stressful day. That feeling exists when you are taking in and processing stimuli as you make decisions based on it. There is a constant stream of information flowing into you and if you don't quiet yourself from time to time, you get overloaded. How mindfully are your decisions made? Do you have motivations that you've hidden from yourself? Are you really honest about why you do what you do? And is there a way to rectify it?
Yoga offers us tangible techniques with which to answer these questions and make changes, if needed. It is not a quick fix. The success you have in knowing yourself better through yoga is all about your part in practice. If you don't want to know, you never will. But, then, you'll always be living in a stressed out, suffering state of mind. People who practice yoga will still get stressed out; will still have pain. Physical life will never be devoid of all pain. But a regular yoga practice will dull the edge of every challenge you encounter, increase your stamina, and will allow you to live with more lightness.

Inner Peace: Co-Create with Yourself

Conflict resolution

After creating the space inside to feel at home, you can begin to see patterns around the way you treat yourself. This week practice focues on working with, instead of against, yourself.

I had the privilege to be able to have the time to watch the spiritual head of the Himalayan Institute in Pennsylvania give a webinar two weeks in a row. He is my teachers' teachers' teacher. He is an interesting person. He has an intensity, yet at the same time he's very quick to laugh and very relaxed about himself. He's comfortable in his own skin. In response to a question he advised speaking directly to yourself in an attempt to coordinate the mind and body. He suggested telling your stomach what you plan on feeding it and giving it permission to digest it. He also recommends giving yourself permission to fall asleep and rest deeply. Instead of sleep as a mindless exercise where you are at the mercy of exhaustion and you pass out because you have run yourself ragged, decide to sleep. Make it your conscious choice.

My teacher says yoga helps us co-create with the universe. This week, take steps to co-create with yourself. View yourself as a partner. The body and mind are dealt with as separate entities in the western world. How can that be? It may seem like a ridiculous thing to do, but try talking to yourself. We all do it anyway, why not try it with a specific purpose in mind. (You don't have to tell anyone.) Take the time to inform your body what it will be receiving. Then listen to see if there's any response. Definitely try the bed time talk. Allow yourself the opportunity to rest without the pressures of the next day. One of the ideas that came up in Sunday's class was inner tranquility will never be an option while you are anticipating the next move. Just as in savasana, or any part of your yoga practice, make the moment count. Don't sit still on the outside full of anticipation of the next step. Don't fall asleep just to get to the morning routine. Allow yourself to rejuvenate. 

The body has an awareness of what it needs. We just need to quiet down and listen. 

Comfortable in Your Own Skin: Make your self a home

Continuing our series of mental tranquility practices, this week we consider finding comfort inside of ourselves, whether it be accepting certain physical limitations, mental predilections, or emotional tendencies. It's a psychological phenomenon, the inner conflict that arises when what we project outwardly is different then the truth of what's happening inside. Cognitive dissonance is the technical term. Sometimes we can't even see it. It may be the result of feeling inadequate. It may be that your particular emotions are not in sync with social norms. Regardless of the cause, working to accept all parts of yourself, even those you don't like, is well worth your time.
When the colder weather hits we may seek to comfort and warm ourselves, not only with extra clothing but with food and our homes. We are more likely to be stationary when it's winter, but stationary doesn't have to mean sedentary. And comfort food doesn't have to mean fat and sugar. Practice opening up to the idea of nurturing yourself. When you truly nurture yourself, it isn't  something you'll regret later.

Take time, not just this week, but through the winter months to examine what you do to comfort yourself. What techniques do you already utilize to calm and nurture yourself? Let's expand upon this foundation. I think any self nurturing you can do has to start with the mentality that you deserve it. Sometimes, without meaning to or realizing it, we hold things against ourselves. Maybe embarrassment over a poorly handled interaction with someone, or something you missed at work. Learn how you feel about yourself. Watch how you treat yourself, how you speak to yourself. Believe that you deserve better. Create a space inside of yourself that feels like home; occupy that space.

I attended part of a workshop over the weekend that was a presentation for caregivers and how they can care for themselves. One of the things that came up was sometimes when you're taking care of a loved one your needs can become over shadowed by their needs. We may not all have to care for an ailing loved one, but we all have things we must take care of. We all have decisions that must be made; have to choose between getting one thing and another done. I always struggle with the dishes/children decision. I have to do the dishes, but I only have a limited time to spend playing with my kids. It's how we handle these kinds of choices that will determine how we feel about ourselves later. Both have to get done. One for the health and development of my children and the other because we need to use the utensils. It took me a long time to realize I can do both. It's more about the quality of the attention paid to the task at hand. Hone your awareness, your ability to focus on a task and your work will get done better and quicker. You'll be better able to handle the unexpected. You'll be less stressed and better able to relax.

Tranquility Part 2: Equanimity

Equanimity refers to mental tranquility. It is the mind's ability to remain calm (and therefore focused). We are taken out of that equanimity by the events we encounter in our day; by what we feel about the situations we must face. The problem is, we feel something about everything that happens to and around us. We're supposed to. But it's the preoccupation with those feelings that cause us to leave an equanimous state and become reactive. This is the main cause of suffering according to Patanjali's Yoga Sutras; attachment and aversion. We see something we like, we feel a connection to it, and up the chances we'll be unhappy when its not around. And vice versa.


In the yoga sutras Patanjali states there are three levels of meditation. The first is concentration on a single thing; One pointedness. The art of which I think is largely lost on the majority of our society. I think the consumerism part of our society is predicated on the fact that we are distracted. If we were concentrating on one thing at a time we probably wouldn't be convinced to buy as much stuff. The second level of meditation is the awareness of your awareness. Interesting idea. When you are able to concentrate and sustain that concentration long enough you become aware of a part of your mind that is aware of the fact that you're concentrating. You end up watching yourself watch something.


This part of your mind, the part that watches without getting involved, is the part I want you to try to cultivate this week. It is the part of your mind which can be objective about what you feel. And what we feel takes us away from equanimity. The inner balance that results from a mind less swayed by reactions to the external world is a calmer, more tranquil one.


We are designed to feel. I love the stand up bit I heard about the cave man who took anti-anxiety meds and smiled as he was eaten. But we are not designed to be on high alert every day, all day. It is imperative to our health that we take time to de-stress.


The fact is, we are not how we feel. If we allow the feeling to take over it can define how we behave and what choices we make. If we can distance our self identity from what we feel we can be more tranquil.

Onepointedness

The first level of meditation, according to the Yoga Sutras, is one pointedness.


I try to be the kind of teacher who practices what she preaches, but when concentration rolls around I realize how little practice I have at it outside of a yoga class. I am always doing two things at once. It's hard to have all of my mind in one place at one time. We are not encouraged to sit still, sit quietly. Well, we may have situations which require stillness and all of our attention but we're not really taught any techniques that can help us do that.


Unless you do yoga. I know there are other techniques, but none of them really helped me until they were linked with my body. I've always been more body oriented than mind. It's been in working with the two in tandem that I've learned about myself and the way I distract.
Even writing this proves challenging when the light hits my screen and I notice finger prints and water spots. There are so many things that can trigger memories and take you away from what you're doing.


One way yoga suggests to keep yourself present is to pay attention to the breath. This works only if you have begun to be aware of your breath and its' movement in your body. If you are trying to be present without a baseline for breath awareness, noticing it will take you even further away from what you're trying to concentrate on.


Lately, asking myself a simple question helps to pull me back to where I need to be. "What are you doing?" Now take any accusatory tone out of the inflection. Make it a genuine question of curiosity. What are you doing? Are you submitting to a craving? Are you subtly unhappy about your current circumstances and therefore running from them mentally? Whatever the circumstances, asking the question (even if you can't immediately answer it) helps to alleviate the pull of whatever it was. You'll be able to draw yourself back to your task.


As you clear out noise from your mind (the things you hold on to which are distractions) you'll have more of your mind to use on the processing of any given moment. It is said that dreams are the way your mind integrates all the stimuli you're subjected to in a day. According to yoga texts, advanced yogis don't dream. They are so present that they don't need to. They are already integrated.


In a yoga class you're asked to notice so many things at once. Sometimes it seems counterintuitive to try to pay attention to so many different parts of your body at once. And then the breath on top of it all. But as you practice you'll find this becomes easier because you'll no longer see each part as separate.

You Must Rock

Moving is no fun. Just ask anyone. But it can be less daunting if you have people around you with the right attitude. This week we practice with a light heart. Yoga is important work and it can bring up some heavy thoughts. Your reaction to this, and any kind of daunting situation, is going to determine how bad it gets.


The link below will take you to a video of Greg Behrendt, stand up comedian and author. The video explains the gist of his book. You must rock. Rock stars are rock stars 24/7, not just 9-5 Monday through Friday. Why do you spend so much of your time doing things, or being with a person, that doesn't inspire you? That only fulfills needs, not gives you passion and purpose. And why not encourage and support those in your life? To give that inspiration and purpose.


http://youtu.be/qeHlgzD1r7I


I see this in yogis, but all too often I see people who have work they don't love and lives they drift through. You must rock!



It's all about perspective and attitude. It's not only in the yoga community that if you can see the work that you do as a calling, or as something bigger than a job, you're going to be happy you're doing it and you're going to want to do it, and you're going to be happier.

Fearlessness in the Face of Unexpected Change

After letting go of fear you can move through life without hesitation; acting instead of reacting; express yourself with confidence and clarity.


When I work I travel all day long. I have made a living out of that constant change thing that I like so much. But, I have noticed that I need a certain level of regularity in order to be comfortable. If I have a day that I get several calls changing my schedule throughout the course of the day, it irritates me. It's not because of all the changes; the change of itself isn't a problem. It's the uncertainty that is off-putting. I start my day with an expectation of what it will be like because I have come to know the people I see regularly. When my schedule gets changed and I have to see people I don't know, that bothers me.
When we encounter September we know what we're getting into. We know that the weather is going to get cooler and we know that we're going to have less daylight hours and we know that the kids are going to have to go back to school and that we're not going to be able to vacation anymore. The real test of your ability to cope with change is when you get slammed with something unexpected. That's what this week's class is all about. Can you stay grounded enough in your own truths to be able to accept open-heartedly unexpected change.


To tackle the unexpected you have to be brave and gentle at the same time. It may feel stronger and safer to clench up; to be inflexible; unyielding. But there is a power in being gentle that the unyielding can't imagine. The quality of your life can only improve when you become more open.



Can you go into the future (the unknown) with steady legs and an open heart?

Transition with Grace

Autumn! My favorite. The transition from winter to spring isn't always a graceful one. The move from light to dark seems jarring. But we can utilize yogic techniques in order to be able to handle the transitions a little more gracefully.


Last week we practiced grounding strongly to keep us steady in the face of change. We will continue our work in being closely linked to the earth and add twists. Twists are all about integration. When we twist we squeeze out the old and outmoded to make room for whatever is headed our way. Stoking the fire of digestion, we become more capable of integration or eliminating. As our ability to discern what is good for us and what isn't grows, twists allow us to make that change; taking into and making a part of us that which serves our growth, while letting pass through us that which holds us back; whatever prevents us from acting in our own best interests.

Fear

We all fear. We have those fears grounded in life (having enough/making a living to provide for our families) And those less grounded (ax murderer in the woods).

When you are open and trusting these kinds of baseless fears tend to leave you. And when you have a regular practice of mindfulness and stress relief, the realistic stuff holds less sway over the direction of your thoughts.

Our practice this week will be with poses that make us feel off balance and possibly afraid. There is the fear of looking foolish in public, there's the fear of injury. There are other, deep seated fears that can present themselves as physical limitations without  being clearly understood consciously. This week try and practice as if you believed all your physical limitations were a result of mental tension. When you soften internally while toning physically, you become capable of feats you never thought possible before. Even if they're only for a moment. If you've ever seen We Bought a Zoo: All you need is 20 seconds of bravery.

One way in which we can combat our tendency to fear is through intelligent energy management. Domes are one of the most resilient structures of the physical world.
"Domes maximize volume while minimizing surface area, providing structural integrity with a minimum of energy/material, making them perfectly stable and inert as molecular packages. They are energy efficient as architectural structures - retaining heat, while minimizing solar heat load and they minimize drag and distribute wind/snow loads." There is doming action throughout or bodies. (Arches of feet, diaphragm, palate, skull) these are physical structures used to prevent  gravity from overwhelming us. Our energy body can use these same structures to keep our prana flowing in the proper direction. The perineum, diaphragm and the hollow of throat are the areas of the three main bandhas. We will utilize these internal domes to help stabilize us in challenging asana. As we utilize them, so we strengthen our ability to walk tall through the difficulties of our lives. Bandhas prevent us from being overwhelmed by the gravity of our external responsibilities and internal reactions to them.

Nurturing Yourself *Serenity Now!*

I was thinking of George's father and his serenity now idea. It's something everyone searches for. There are eastern approaches, self help ideas, quick fix make overs, doctors on tv peddling the latest "health" pill, "reality" tv to take you out of your suffering for a time. That's what entertainment is. The opiate of the masses. It has struck me how skewed our priorities are. When entertainers make millions and those doing real work are barely getting by. Everyone is looking for a way out.



Suffering can be the result of many things. Expectation, perspective, disease, circumstances. Basically, life. The extent to which these things disrupt your tranquility is up to you. This is why I do yoga. Time and again it has proven itself invaluable as a means of keeping me happy and healthy. Which is not to say I'm never upset or never get a cold. Instead I am less frequently upset and can rebound from emotional turmoil much more quickly. Also, the list of things that get me riled up is shortening. I feel more and more grateful.



This week we will practice to open our hearts to what will truly nurture us while letting go of what doesn't. There are many layers to your thought process and what will be good and healthy for us doesn't always come to the forefront of our minds, particularly when we're upset. It's important to clear out residual upset before making decisions for yourself. We'll breathe, practice pranayama to restore balance and visualize getting what we need, releasing what we don't. All this in addition to asana to strengthen and increase flexibility to both our bodies and minds.



Trustful surrender. We will practice the art of surrender. Which may or may not have a good connotation for you. Surrender may mean defeat to you, but in this case it is trusting a more subtle, objective part of yourself. Whether it be the subconscious or the divine, quiet your conscious mind so you can listen.

Honoring the Dark

Not all dark has to be scary or dreadful.


It was the summer solstice recently and I noticed several yoga classes offering 108 sun salutations to commemorate the day. It's a yoga tradition to do so.


If we have the most sun on that day, while I do believe it is important to be grateful for it, do we really need a practice that will create more fire? Ayurvedic thought gives us the idea that balance is the great wellness maker; if we have too much of anything, we need its' opposite to balance its' effects. While I didn't get to it right on the day, we are still lucky enough to have very long days for a while yet, so lets spend some time honoring the dark.


Our reality is dualistic. We have light so we must have dark. It is what we fill the dark with that makes it a comfort or a curse.


Empty yourself; breathe as if u were hollow. Create the most comfortable/comforting internal environment. Feel the dark soft and welcoming. Settle into the space as you would a giant, puffy chair. Feel at ease.

On Being Average

Life is always a work in progress. I've noticed that every day I have to get up and remember certain activities that help me with the process of change. There are things that stick because it's what I've always done. Then there's everything else. It's the work that I put in that is the real and lasting change that has allowed me to let go of some of my detrimental habits.
Before, for many years, I had resentment at the idea that I needed to change. What was wrong with me?! Wasn't I a decent person? Wasn't I free to do as I pleased? Yet at the same time I was not happy with myself. I looked funny and felt awkward and regretted my actions.
When I was in high school I hated the fact that I was average. I didn't do any work to try to become more, I just disliked the implication of being someone who could be lost in a crowd. (I don't remember from whom this was implied, it was just in my mind.) What I have come to learn and appreciate is that being that person helps me be a good yoga instructor. If I was someone who was effortlessly extraordinary, who would want to hear from me? People can relate to my way of thinking; to my way of seeing the world. And it is because they can relate that I can do my job in offering techniques which help to smooth the process of change.
I've spoken before of Swami Rama's The Art of Joyful Living. One of the things he recommends to increase happiness is to discover your duty in life and accept it. Maybe being average isn't exactly a duty but accepting it has made my life happier.


"Whatever you are, be a good one."
-Abraham Lincoln

Reality?

Lack of (true) perception coupled with sharp senses leads to suffering.


We all get so caught up in our stuff. Modern science has shown us that what we can perceive with our five senses is only 90% of what exists. Think about that. All the amazing, wonderful, miraculous phenomenon you experience or learn about regarding your world or our universe through your eyes, ears, tongue, nose and skin is only a small part. Small! We are so reliant on out eyes yet we can't see all the different kinds of light there is nor magnetic fields. We can't hear all the pitches that animals can.

Now put this into the context of your own life. We tend to think we know all about our lives and that we know best. Yet we can hide things from ourselves. We choose to behave in ways that confirm the image we want of ourselves, instead of who we really are. Our unconscious minds are the 90% of our personal universes. With yoga we have a system of techniques with which we can begin to experience more of our reality.

A few years ago I went camping with family and ended up having a little time in the afternoon to breathe. We were camping by a lake and I found a spot with a nice view of the lake but that was semi private. My attention was preoccupied with getting a good view of the horizon. When I started drawing my awareness back to myself I found I had chosen a seat about a foot from a sapling. I was face to face with it, so to speak. I had to laugh at the image of someone coming upon me and finding that I had chosen to sit facing so close to this little tree. But I didn't even notice it as I settled myself down. That is everything you carry but don't want to see. Your attention has been focused away for so long that you can't even see the thing that's right in front of your face. So when others come upon u and see that thing immediately, u categorically deny it and waste some time being outraged.

What are you carrying that you have carried for so long that you don't even notice anymore? Look at yourself. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Take the time and be honest. Respect yourself enough to be honest.

A Strong Foundation Supports an Open Heart

Can you support your own heart?


Sometimes we have to be our own support system in tough times. This week's class focuses on our ability to be a self contained unit. That is not to say that we can't or shouldn't rely on others. But, we have all the elements we need to face challenges and over come them. We simply need to strengthen and open to the possibilities.


Asana this week will focus on strengthening the navel and opening the heart. We will find out what we are made of. Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised by your ability.

Tapas

Tapas is a Sanskrit term that refers to heat or effort. (not the Spanish style of eating small portions) Just like many of the other ideas put forth in the practice of yoga it is a very practical means to achieve success in life. It is our human nature and free will in which our troubles arise.

This is a practice that I have had trouble with my whole life. Even before I was introduced to the concept of tapas I was resistant to any kind of self discipline. I don't think that I am unique in having the attitude of being able to do what I want and resisting any restraint. Fortunately for me it never went much farther then an excess of sugar. I have been able, with dedication to my practice, to reduce the number of self imposed negative influences on my behavior. But many of the circumstances in my life conspired to reduce the opportunity for indulging in these detrimental behaviors. Tapas is self imposed discipline. It is an internal character building exercise.

My current tapas practice is to stick to 2 cups of coffee (1/2 decaf) a day and to never buy Malano cookies again. (Seriously. Ever.) The degree of success that I'll have with this practice depends entirely on my willpower. The question becomes: is my intention stronger than my habit?

My teacher's teacher (Rod Styker) calls this a departure point in his Four Desires program. It is one small, maybe seemingly insignificant, change in your behavior that has the potential to lead to much bigger and better changes in your life.

While this process is undoubtedly one of internal fortitude we will practice asana this week with the intention of building heat to create resistance and work through that difficultly because you cannot do to your body without it affecting your mind.

It is a matter of the right ingredients. What can you do to become bigger than your habits? Yoga has a plethora of options but it is not the only thing you can do. There are many self help books, talk shows and videos. Find what works for you and stick with it.

For every difficulty I encounter and overcome, my gratitude for the practice of yoga in my life grows.

Communication

Now that the weather is (much!) nicer, people are out and about. I don't know if you've ever noticed how people behave when they're hanging outside, but take a surreptitious look the next time you do. People are very aware that they are visible to others, particularly after such a long time being inside. Some look to make sure you're looking at them, others want to know what the hell you're looking at.


We are communicating all the time. Even when we're not speaking. There is an honesty in body language that we can get around with words. We also exchange energy with those in proximity to us, giving us a feeling of others. When we exist in the world we are exchanging with everyone we meet. Have you ever walked by someone and felt awkward? There is no particular reason to be, it's just that person feels a certain way to you.


This week we will focus on the neck/throat and shoulders. Be aware of what you're really communicating. When we practice we engage in a communication with all the disparate parts of ourselves. Notice how you move your body. What comes into your mind as you practice certain postures. Be aware of these details. As you understand yourself better you will be more honest and open in your communication with others.

Stability

What happens when your happiness is tied to something as variable as the weather?


It's puzzling but undeniable. We hate the weather. This year has been particularly trying, but even when all goes to plan we are annoyed by it. I'll confess to it. Last weekend was too cold. In a week and a half it will be June and I find frost advisories unacceptable.


How about your fluctuating feelings toward your spouse?


When we are in relationships we're upset at our partner and when we're not in relationships we're upset that we're alone. I find this to be a very tiring duality. Yet it's one that I can not but hold myself accountable for. There is a story in The Art of Joyful Living in which the author (Swami Rama) witnesses his guru receive a visitor. His guru responds to the visitors' comment about being alone by saying he was with his highest self before the visitor arrived, and was only lonely since he was distracted by the visitor. I haven't gotten to that place. I have always been lonely when alone. But I can't deny the challenges of sharing a life with someone. It makes for some serious roller coaster moments.


When circumstances in our lives change greatly over a short period of time it is important to have stability to fall back in. We need to have firm, stable ground under our feet in order to weather the metaphorical storms we're faced with. If we can cultivate this ground we can be content with out lives. If we can view the events of our lives as a whole instead of in little devastating incidents we stand a much better chance of being happy, or at least content.


This week's asana is designed to strengthen your ground. With balances and standing poses we will find our base and discover how it relates to our center. With breath, intention and posture we will work to accumulate and contain energy. If you create a stable container for your energy (prana = life force) when you encounter challenging situations you will have the ability to deal with them, instead of falling over under their weight. In knowing better who you are, you are able to be that in any situation.

The Blame Game

Who do you blame?

I am on a roll with this happiness thing so lets consider this: who do you blame for the things that "happen to you"? I was lucky enough to have a good friend visit me over the weekend. She has recovered as much as she ever will from a serious traumatic injury. She mentioned she was having swelling and pain but that it was her own fault. She knows well her limitations, but sometimes she pushes the issue. This struck me in stark contrast to some patients I encounter in a day. There are people who blame everyone but themselves for their own difficulty. Even when there's no one to blame for their condition, they increase their discomfort unnecessarily with things like: the doctor don't really care and is in it for the money or their families are self involved and don't see them enough, etc.

This is a victimizing mentality. When you blame others for your actions you give away your strength and ability. This is in no way to detract from the very real problem of coping with a serious chronic illness. Sometimes accidents happen and sometimes people get sick. It's natural to want to know why. People want to believe they could have done something differently or at least have the satisfaction of being upset with the culprit. I am no exception. Maybe if the person in front of me in traffic would do the speed limit (or faster!) I wouldn't be late. (Or, maybe if I left the house on time) Maybe if Sydonia would sleep more at nap time I could get in a better practice. (Maybe I can be more creative with the time I have until she's older) Everyone I come into contact with is a potential source of responsibility for the troubles of my day. It is in my perspective that I take back my day.

I tend to shrug off some of my personality traits as part of my nature. And, it's true, I have always been an easy going person. But, I have worked over many years to understand my perspective. I have tried to give up blaming and let go of ways of thinking that increase tension. I am a happy person. It's because I choose to look very carefully at my life and see how fortunate I am in it. Sometimes it's a purposeful few moments for me to find the perspective that allows me freedom from frustration and bitterness. Ok, maybe more than a few. But, I find it. And, when I can't, I let go.
This week we will stretch and strengthen our "let go" muscles. We will focus on the back body, hips and spine. How much time do you spend in your eyes? I know that sounds odd, but we spend a lot of time experiencing the world from the level of our eyes. How much time do you spend in your front body? Can you draw your awareness into your back? We will try to detach from the flexibility of the front body and spend time in the stability and steadiness of the back. Maybe all you need is that subtle shift in perspective.

What Drowns Your Happiness?

Not the fleeting happiness we find in the transitory. We are happy or sad or upset or content all in the same day. There are things that happen in a day that we react to and therefore we have shifts in our mood.
But, we also have an overall mood to our lives. I am a mostly upbeat person. There are others who are mostly upset. There are choices you make every day in your life that can either move you toward or away from overall well-ness.

I have been making an effort to reduce the number of sweets I have in a day. Recently I chose to buy some but not eat them. I had other snacks that were better choices. I felt happy; proud of my choice. But, I know myself well enough now to understand that I will allow that good feeling to slip away later when I have a craving for sugar. (I am less resolute in the afternoon) I have to attempt to remember that good feeling; remember how good it can feel to make healthy choices so later, when I crave, I can choose healthy again.

When you're struggling to eliminate a habit that you recognize as destructive, it can be very challenging. It can be years in the struggle. A good friend of mine suggested, when counseling me about a habit I knew to be unhelpful but couldn't stop, not to be too disappointed by my lack of progress. It had taken 20 something years (at that point) to make it a habit, so how could I expect to be done with it immediately?

While that is true, there needs to be some concerted effort made to get out of the groove, or you'll stay there forever.

This week I'd like you to notice what choices you make that make you happy in the moment but really creates suffering in the long run. A great example of this (and there are many) is procrastination. I am still struggling with this one. There's a freeze that happens in me when confronted with certain situations. Definitely not helpful.
There's smoking, drinking, credit, excessive amounts of any food or entertainment. Basically any coping mechanism that pacifies your pain. When you're pacified you are not forced to face, and subsequently deal with to incorporate, your emotions. Then you create a problem that can only last for so long. Because those emotions will be felt. So you'll start buying more stuff, or drinking more or watching more TV or playing more video games. Or even working longer hours. Anything to distract.
If it is true that you can choose something that feels good in the short term but creates strain in the long term, it is true of the opposite. Choosing not to give into your habit creates stress for a period of time. And it will feel like a long time. But, ultimately you are choosing well.

Something I'm trying with Izic this week to help his memory is 10 minutes of silence. I don't know about you, but every time I sit down to practice pranayama or meditation, I remember something. So, I'm asking Izic to sit (or lay) for 10 minutes everyday and focus on breathing deeply. He has a pad of paper and a pen with him so he can write down what comes up for him. This may be a useful exercise for you. You may not have an issue remembering things, but maybe you have trouble reflecting on your day without emotional stress. If you find a comfortable position and a deep breath for 10 minutes a day, maybe you'll be better able to come to terms with some of your troubles. Writing them down maybe useful to get them out of the way.
It reminds me of the pensieve, for the Harry Potter fans. :) The headmaster of the school had a device in which he could extract thoughts and view them from a detached perspective. This is yoga in our lives. People at Hogwarts used magic. Our way may take more work and more time, but it is no less effective.

Not Too Serious

Learn to love your duty and do it with a carefree heart.

I have started reading the art of joyful living by swami Rama. One point he comes to again and again is understanding what your duty is in the world and accomplishing it can bring you joy. As a modern American woman who is very grateful to be here and now I have a bit of a reaction to the word duty. It's something that is recent enough in our history to cause a bit of friction when faced with the idea. It wasn't that long ago that women were expected to perform very specific tasks and considered incompetent to perform others. As I have grown into an adult, been a mother and have been on this journey of practicing yoga and thereby understanding myself better, I have come to appreciate the joys of completing what are, currently, my duties.


We all have a list of stuff that we must get done in a day or in a week or in a month. We create conflict and tension within ourselves when we are unable or unwilling to complete these tasks. The dishes. Of all of the household chores this is the one I hate the most. I and my family have gotten a laugh in the past few months that it's now my job to do the dishes. Literally, as a home health aide, one of my jobs is to do the dishes. Here is a lovely example of performing a duty and deriving a feeling of satisfaction from it. I hate doing the dishes but I really find satisfaction in assisting people and helping make their lives easier. So, when I do the dishes for elderly patients who have a hard time standing long periods of time or for my fiancé who is a third shift worker and who is tired all the time, I find myself satisfied by completing those tasks, because I know someone's life has been improved by their doing.


Cooking dinner is another example of something that I don't enjoy. Only since having children have I learned to appreciate cooking a meal. Even in the first couple years of Izic's life I didn't do a lot of cooking.  Now, thankfully, I have a man who genuinely enjoys and is good at cooking. I don't mind doing the dishes if he makes the meal.


As far as duties in the world, that can be a little trickier. There are a lot more variables. Namely, other people. There's a degree of control you have at home that can't be imposed in the world. This kind of challenge can make the reward that much more satisfying. You have to really work for it.


This week we will practice strong, vigorous yoga with accompanying stillness. Can you do serious work with a light heart? Can you find the humor in your seriousness? This intention came to me when Sydonia was running around a studio without any pants on. She didn't care that she wasn't home, or that there were strangers walking outside. She was, and remains, free from the restraints of social construct. It's wonderful. Now, I am not suggesting you walk around half naked. But, maybe you could find a place within you that could have just as much fun being silly. I think you'll find everything is a little easier to take, every job is a little easier to complete, and everyone is easier to love when you look at the world with this new perspective.

Living in Freedom

A few weeks ago we celebrated life. We've been practicing how to live ever since. (And, hopefully, a bit before) Hopefully we can keep that celebratory attitude because living can be tricky. Circumstances will determine the extent to which you have difficulties, but your point of view is going to go a long way to make you more or less stressed. Yoga and its' techniques can help make it a little less challenging. From a fit and flexible body to a calmer, focused mind, yoga is truly a wholistic science.



The idea of freedom in yoga is not only about being physically free. It's not about being free to think whatever you want to think or to live wherever you want to live or to worship however you want to worship. All of those things are necessary to be able to practice in the first place. Freedom in yoga means freedom from suffering. We are free from suffering when we are free of our attachments.
Attachments boils down to an emotional response. We like things that make us feel good, while we hate things that make us feel bad or uncomfortable. This is not about never feeling anything. It's about not being attached to those feelings. Living in freedom means living without conflict. When you make decisions based on old habits instead of on current information, you create conflict within yourself.



This week is all about observation. If you're going to yoga class then chances are that you're there is something about your life that you want to change. Change is impossible without observation. If you don't understand why you make the choices that you make then you're going to continue to make unaware choices that will only perpetuate your suffering. And it can be confusing. You can think that you're looking at things from a different perspective because you've started to take a yoga class regularly, when really you're fooling yourself; reinforcing habits because it's comfortable instead of really challenging yourself to see clearly.


Change up your perspective. Your mind is throughout your whole body. Your brain is your physical control center, but where is your mind? Where do you hold your consciousness? We assume it's in our brain because the brain is still such a mystery. All of your cells hold your consciousness, not just your brain cells. So take your eyes out of the equation. And don't just hang out in whatever hurts. Discover a new area to occupy. How does this shift the way your experience life?


Change can be difficult. I was trimming the dead off of one of my house plants today and it reminded me of the skillful gardener metaphor that I've used before, and enjoy so much. You must let pieces of yourself die in order for the rest of you to grow stronger. Death is a part of life. It is not an end. As you accept the change, you'll begin to notice the trajectory of your life shift. If you resist the change, allowing those useless branches to continue to live, you jeopardize the whole entity. It's when you fear the change that you become stagnant and depressed.


Open to whatever comes up for you in your practice and in your life. Don't analyze or judge. Just be aware.

Compassion

I work every day with people who feel terrible. Either they're sick or they're elderly or they are mentally ill. What I find most common about the majority of them is that they complain. They have pain, they didn't get enough sleep, they didn't like the service they received, their family bothered them etc. etc. I try to keep this in perspective because a lot of them have good reason to complain. And when you're confined to your house your world gets so small that when you see celebrities on TV or hear gossip in the hallway or have someone treat you badly, that becomes your entire world. It's all you think about, talk about.


When I get emotionally rocky I tend toward anger.  I have the great fortune and privilege to be able to be out and about, get a change of scenery to get a change of heart. A little fresh air and a change of pace so I don't typically stay angry for long. It is a part of my personality to be laid-back. I don't typically hold grudges. But when I'm having an emotional day I get pissed off about things. I actually flipped off somebody in traffic. That's very unusual for me. It made me think about the things that people expend their energy doing. Like giving someone the finger. You have to actually decide to act upon that strong anger. Not only are you wasting your time being upset about something that you can't change, (and that isn't hurting you) you're also going to add to it by physically expressing that anger to another person who probably doesn't deserve it. Which, in turn, will cause them to feel something and take it out on someone. I wonder what it would be like if everybody took the time to express the joyful end of our feelings. To feel something positive so strongly that you have to act.


I'm privy to so many hostile energy exchanges. Those between parents and children is the worst. One of my favorite people has dementia. Her and her daughter do not get along. I'll give her daughter credit for giving it a try but mom is obviously different and it's obviously taking a toll. It's interesting to get that perspective on that kind of relationship. I can laugh the things she says off but it's because she's not my mother. On the days that I'm not overwhelmed with my own emotional baggage things like that give me the perspective to be able to let go of what would otherwise bother me in other situations.


So, what would the world look like if everyone acted on the positive emotions they felt every day? Practice this week's class with a sense of joy and wonder at the miracle that is you. Practice with compassion and understanding for your limitations; for all that annoys you about yourself. Give yourself that time and positive energy. Then you can go out and light up someones life.

Concentrate

I recently read an article in which the author described being so completely immersed in books as a child that she had no awareness of the passage of time or activity around her. She then explained how this ability to focus her attention helped her practice yoga and meditation.


I am an avid reader and have been for years. I too lost myself in books as a child and young adult. Though as I grew, I was much more prone to distraction. When I began practicing yoga my mind was rarely steady on the class and its' intention. I didn't even know it. I was discussing my difficulty in keeping my focus in life and was asked how I kept my focus in class. That's when it hit me that I didn't. Savasana was always difficult. Even years later I find myself apt to wander in my attention if I am faced with a quieter pose.
The difference between being immersed in a book an being immersed in myself is the escapism factor. It's the same reason I watch the same shows over and over again. (*cough* Firefly) People in books go places I don't and meet people I don't and speak with people in a way that's free from awkwardness. I read sci-fi fantasy novels to escape the uncertainty and frustrations of life. I watch Firefly too often because I know what's going to happen. There's no question of whether or not the "right" thing is being done. I know how it turns out. The same can not be said for my life. While it continues to show improvement, there is uncertainty, doubt, awkwardness, anger, fear. I have heard it suggested (by myself and others) that your concentration can be increased by your increased fascination with your internal world. It sounds egotistical at first. Swami Rama in The Art of Joyful Living says to read the manuscript of your life as you would any other book. So, can I wrangle my love for reading to include a love for the story of my own life? It depends on how much emotional baggage I can drop.


Meditation is the practice of one pointed attention. We are rarely supported in one pointedness in the modern world. When you can text, listen to music and take a phone call from a device you can use while you drive, you're not required to stay on the one important task in that list. In our jobs we're encouraged to do as many things at once as possible so companies get their money's worth out of our salaries. Our education demands we take many classes at once and retain details of each.When I was young I started reading 5 books at once. I thought it would be interesting to switch up stories. My mother suggested I try one at a time. In college I realized one at a time was not an option. I remember accompanying my mom to a salon so she could get her hair done, listening to music while I read. My son listens to recordings of people playing video games while he plays games.


In yoga classes we are asked to keep our awareness on the current moment utilizing breath and body movement. As we master these aspects of ourselves we can gradually move into stillness and practice meditation. Meditation has two stages, the first of which is concentration. If you learn to concentrate, keeping all of your awareness focused on one thing, then you move to the next stage of meditation. There are many techniques of concentration. Two often used in yoga settings is mantra and visualization. Upon completing every asana class she teaches, my teacher leads her students in meditation practices. We are free to sit still because of the asana/pranayama we've practiced. While we sit, she uses words to guide our attention to specific areas; physical body parts, light visualization, or even the development of awareness of a sensation like gratitude or joy.


If you're unsure of the practice of meditation, or maybe have preconceptions as to what meditation is, take the time to find someone knowledgeable and approachable who can help you in the practice of concentration. Don't set yourself up for frustration by sitting down without physical movement and try to force thoughts out of your mind. You will only create tension in yourself and push yourself further from calm concentration.


This week in class, I ask that you concentrate to the best of your ability on every moment of class. Use the times that you wander to learn what pulls you away from the present. Take the time to notice throughout your week what kinds of thoughts distract you from your everyday. The more aware you become of your tendencies, the more often you'll be able to stay present.

A Celebration of Choices

Lately I have been working to understand better the voice in my head that rebels when the smarter, healthier part of my mind sets limits. I had a very strange experience of hearing distinctly the refusal of the one part in response to the other attempting to limit cookie intake one day at work. I know sugar is a challenge for me and am working to, instead if imposing limits that create such conflict, actually want to be healthy and make healthy choices.
So i am working to listen more closely to what I'm actually feeling instead of reacting to my emotional roller coaster.
Choices again.
The kids and I were caught in a squall. It was one of those space moments where the headlights made the snowflakes look as if we were in a spaceship. It definitely looks cool but makes seeing the road next to impossible. It was my job to see past all the things flying in my face to the road we were supposed to be on.
This is your task in life. We have distractions flying in our face every single day but we have to keep focused on the path we choose. Long term wellness versus short term pleasure. We all know what's bad for us. But we have that voice that loves defiance; who loves the look of all those snowflakes flying at us.
My teacher wrote an inspirational essay on the culture of beauty in America. Please find it here - http://myemail.constantcontact.com/I-Hate-My---What----Plus--master-classes--luxe-retreat-and-more.html?soid=1101415430224&aid=w-qmJPz2g90
We are more than our physical appearance, taste buds or ailments. We are something much more lasting. If you can remember that, all the stress and emotional upset of the world is a lot more manageable.

This week we'll celebrate the little steps you take toward your health and wholeness goals. Manage to substitute a cup of tea for your usual cup of coffee? It may not seem like much, but that can be a major victory over unhealthy, stressful habits. Don't worry if you can't think of anything. You've got plenty of time. Whether it's making time to join a yoga class, research mindfulness meditation, or get some much needed rest, take a moment to congratulate yourself on taking a healthy step. Make it a big deal. Reinforce that choice so it's easier to make again. 

Conflict versus Unity: Choices

It seems like a simple proposition. Make choices based on reducing your internal conflict. But, often choices are made based on habit; habits that have grown throughout the course of a life lived without any particular focus on awareness or dealing with emotions in a healthy way. So we pick up habits based on trying to feel better when in fact those habits make feel worse. We know we shouldn't eat too much sugar, or drink too much coffee, or watch too much tv, or be on facebook for too long, etc, but we do because we're avoiding feeling terrible. It's avoidance, not resolution.


Then we wonder why we're in pain. We trudge through life instead of walking tall. Ani DiFranco is (in my opinion) a very talented musician. In one of her songs she sings: when I look down, I miss all the good stuff, and when I look up, I just trip over things. Can we learn to see both?


Firstly, you have to practice walking without looking behind you. My daughter used to walk into walls that way. Focus on past events can take you away from what's happening now. You will most assuredly walk into emotional walls. Allowing the present moment to be usurped by the past will lead you to make decisions based not on what's going on in front of you but what you've already gone through.


It takes effort to let go of our hold on the past. Which comes first? Letting go of the emotions that come up when you're reminded of the past or letting go of your unhealthy coping mechanisms? It takes time and dedication to get anything accomplished, particularly something you react strongly to.



Yoga gives us techniques to keep us present, to feel calm in the face of strong emotion, to bring our bodies and minds back to wellness. The most powerful tool we have for health and well being is our breath. Take 12 seconds out of your day and take 3 deep breaths. No particular pattern, no particular physical configuration. Just breathe in as deeply as you can (include your belly) and exhale completely. Make it noisy if it helps. Now see how you feel. You can't breathe yesterday or tomorrow. Only now. Take time throughout your day to notice how your breath flows. If it flows.


Once you get a handle on your breath, you can begin to notice how it flows when you're faced with certain situations. You make choices everyday. You have to. Under what circumstances do you choose unhealthy? Under what circumstances is it easy for you to choose what's good for you?


The word yoga means to yoke. It refers to uniting the many disparate parts of the human being. Uniting with yourself in the present moment will allow you to live with less stress, less sickness, and more happiness.

Patience

Last night we sprung ahead. I had planned to spend the night at a close friends' house since Matt was working. Sydonia has never slept away from home and we ended up having to go home in the middle of the night. Last night and today are a very challenging test of my patience. Lack of sleep is making it very difficult to be understanding of everyone else's lack of sleep attitude. Although, my practice has helped me carve out enough space to be able to appreciate the novelty of watching the clock change from 1:59 to 3:00 and appreciate a clear winter sky in the midst of gathering my things and driving home at 2 in the morning. I'm proud that even in frustration I can recognize the good. Izic thought it was fun. :)


Sometimes our impatience is directed toward a long term goal that hasn't yet come to fruition. I have become better at waiting, but there are times when you want your life to be something and realize that you got so impatient with waiting that you stopped trying for it.


The weather this winter. That's all I need to say.


I have a friend who has said for years the reward for patience is patience. So whether it be physical limitations in asana (or life), racing thoughts in meditation, or an expectation that isn't fulfilled, when we are able to settle into a comfortable place and wait without tension, we create ease in our lives. We can not help but reap reward.

Perseverance

The Warriors: A practice of Perseverance



This winter has given us an opportunity to practice perseverance, among other things. We have been inundated with unpleasantness, the likes of which we haven't seen in years.



We are all faced with choices in our lives. Sometimes we are forced to deal with situations that are frustrating, depressing, or upsetting in some way. While the desire to run from the situation that produces such negativity within is completely understandable, sometimes you will reap greater benefits by staying.



This may resonate with you if you have children. Or pets. Or a long term partner. Our relationships are a constant means of comfort and love, with a dose of challenge and stress. You are the only one who can decide if the benefits out weigh the strain. Just how big a dose can you handle?







The weather is a convenient example of this idea. Do you hate cold and snow? Don't live in the northeast United States. But, what if you have chosen to live in Texas? Or Florida? Or any of the warmer states? This year you would have had to endure through some unusual weather.



This week on the mat you will explore the limits of your perseverance. How quickly do you come out of a challenging pose? Can you encourage yourself to persist through a challenging posture? Examine how your inner monologue plays a roll in holding you back or moving you on.
This will be a great place to practice some loving kindness toward yourself. Support yourself through strain. Know what action is going to fill you with a feeling of accomplishment after, and what is going to be detrimental.



Yoga teaches us so much about perseverance. Particularly in the way to move skillfully; moving through our limitations. There is room for modifications. In fact, not only is there room for modifications, their use shows wisdom. That's key when considering problem solving in life. Maybe you can't stand something but can do something similar in a manner that suits you and your skills. Modify your perspective to accomplish what you need to do, regardless of emotion.

Self Appreciation

In keeping with last week's intention, this week we will explore the idea of self appreciation. It's a subject that may not appeal to everyone. In some cases, people may feel awkward about appreciating themselves. It may feel egotistical or vain to invest positive mental speak and feeling toward themselves. Others may feel this a simple undertaking, thinking themselves especially capable. Maybe others feel it a topic not in keeping with a yoga class.

Self esteem is an important part of everyones' life. It will strongly influence the quality of your life. Take time to be honest with yourself. How self deprecating are you? And where is the line between self deprecation and self defeat? How tight to you hug that line?

Yoga is a practical way to live in freedom in the world. It is a philosophy with techniques that bring to life the esoteric and intangible. Asana is more than exercises. It is a physical discipline that will allow you the ability to control your breath, with which you can control you energy, with which you can control your thoughts, after which you will know things you currently believe to be unknowable.
Most whom I know who practice yoga don't have such lofty goals. They just want to live less stressed out lives. Well, yoga can do that too.

One of the ways that you can be successful in your life is by believing in your abilities. This is not vanity. It's practical use of your mind. It's honest. Maybe you can find an objective place in your mind from which to see your own capability.

Perhaps a more accessible way to have self esteem is through the belief that we are of two essential parts. One of the material and one of the spiritual. If it gives you courage to think that you can overcome the worldly because you are of the universe as well, then use it. Make decisions rooted in the knowledge that you are so much more than the flesh and blood you currently occupy. You can do anything as a universal being.

Yoga philosophy has several different groups which think different things about the make up of the universe. The one thing they agree in is that there is a level of existence beyond the physical which we can have access to. Yoga practices are the way to do it.

Whether your goals are to experience samadhi or to simply live happier, practice with the same enthusiasm and belief in yourself

Gratitude

This week we will be inundated with heart stuff. (We have been for weeks already) Heart shaped gifts, chocolate, jewelry. It's always a romantic partnership that is lauded during Valentine's Day. (National Geographic has an interesting article about its' history) And its nice to be romantic, but this week I would rather focus on the gratitude that arises as a result of having any kind of support and connection with another living thing. This is incredibly broad, and purposefully so. While I hope you get to celebrate with your partner the romantic relationship you share, in the interest of inclusion and fostering gratitude, let's do some shoulder work and open to all the ways we can love and be loved.

We are more tolerant of the negativity that can be thrown our way if we love the pitcher. While I am in no way encouraging you to let others take advantage of you,  if we were a little bit more willing to extend that tolerance to others, the world would be much more peaceful.

Siblings parents cousins friends aunts uncles children co-workers teachers students in-laws and especially those who rub you the wrong way. What can you learn by thinking of these people in a less angry attitude? Let's not forget yourself. While it takes mindful awareness to prevent the cross over from self care and appreciation to egocentric narcissism, its well worth the effort. You do no one any good, least of all yourself, when you are masochistic. Take care of yourself in your yoga practice. Show some loving kindness to yourself. Then you will be more able to do the same with others.

Groundedness

Last week you proved to yourself that you can do anything. Being able to let go of that which no longer serves you is well within your ability. This week we will try another tactic to gain that freedom.


Maybe you've met someone who is "down to earth". There is a beautiful freedom in being well grounded. This may seem oxymoronic, but as you ground you become free from disconnection. You become less worried as you feel supported and sure of that support.
As you become more grounded, you become more stable. If you are to make decisions on how to act in a way that furthers your growth and is not reactionary, you must cultivate a steady, stable foundation from which to move. Asana is just the same. If you are to rise up from the earth, you must be firmly connected to it in order to be stable.


This week we will sit more firmly and surely within ourselves. Connecting solidly to the earth provides us the base from which to move with confidence. Rooting down as a tree roots, deeply, we will maintain awareness which will allow us to grow tall and steady.

Aparigraha (Let it Go)

I have been practicing non grasping since the last teacher training meeting without realizing it.
Someone our group met was "living her dharma". Which means she is doing exactly what she is meant to do with her life. After I heard that I thought about what I've been doing and realized I really don't know what the hell I'm doing.
As I was considering this, I realized how much my job is ego boosting. I want to help people. I don't want money to be my main reason for getting up and leaving the house everyday. (It wouldn't be enough motivation to anyway) I want to help brighten peoples' lives. But I also want people to acknowledge that I work hard to do good things. I want people to think highly of me. This is not something I considered about myself when I was deciding to try the medical field for the first time. But it played an important role in my decision making process whether or not I realized it at the time.

What came to, with all a lot of circling thought in my head lately, is that I have to let go of the idea that I am going to be able to think my way through this.

Aparigraha is one of the restraints of yoga as taught by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras. It means non grasping. It can refer to all the ways we cling. We can cling to possessions, to concepts, philosophies and people. I have been clinging to an idea of how I want to be seen. I have been clinging to the idea that I can make "one right move" and everything I have ever wanted will happen. In order to move forward and allow space for what I'm "meant" to do to enter my life, it is imperative that I not cling to my misconceptions.

I have decided that my current tactic has to be waiting. I am not good at waiting. Better than I used to be, but still pretty impatient. It's an excellent practice for me to be still and see how things go.

So, this week we will practice letting go. Again. :) You are not your car or your paycheck or even the shape of your body. Let go of the ideas that are holding you back. Maybe you are exactly where you need to be but you're sad or stressed or confused. Let go. If just for an hour, experience yourself on a level that challenges your body but helps to make you less reliant on its aches and pains to identify yourself.

 Let it go

Choice (You Don't Have to Feel That Way)

I have been in contact with a lot of sick people lately. When you feel bad and are stuck at home, it can be easy to get stuck in your stuff. You may want someone to blame, or to have someone to enable you to be as you always have been. A recent development in my life is to repeat "you don't have to feel that way". Whether the patient is sad or angry, or lashing out because they need someone to blame, I remind myself that I don't have to live where the put me. I can choose how I feel.


There isn't a precedent in our society for the healthy regulation of emotion. We learn as children from the adults in our lives how to cope and that's not always useful. We may see repression or lashing out. We may see substance abuse. We may be told to talk things out but are never shown an example. (Do as I say, not as I do does not work) We may think because our parents didn't go around slapping people or crying all day that they were emotionally healthy. There is no precedent for reflection.


In Yoga and Psychotherapy, Swami Rama, Rudolph Ballentine, MD, and Swami Ajaya explains there are several layers to our mind. One part is continually taking in and is aware of stimuli. When we practice yoga, we are able, eventually, to calm this part of our mind so that we can become aware of other parts of our mind. They mention that another part of our mind holds our memories. One of two things happen when we are faced with the memory and the emotions it evokes. Either we live through those emotions again and tuck that memory back into the part of our mind outside of conscious awareness, or we accept it and let it go, so that it doesn't influence us ever again.


I have learned something about choice and emotion from my son. Children don't have choices the same way we come to know them as adults. Children are at the mercy of their parents, or whoever is raising them. Izic has been through a lot in his life. He is the type of person who goes with the flow. That's a part of his personality, thank god. But his choices are limited by his adults. He may want to go and do something, but if no one is willing to take him, he won't be able to go. He may want to eat something in particular, but if no one is willing to go to the store, buy the ingredients, and make it for him, or show him how, he won't be eating whatever he wants. He may have to deal with an emotionally charged situation that has nothing to do with any decision he's made, but that will effect his life. This is the kind of situation that breeds immature adults. If you are stuck in a mentality of "one day I'll be in charge and I won't have to listen to anyone!" then you perpetuate a lack of communication. When you're sick and a doctor makes recommendations, you may resist. When your husband (or wife) suggests something, you may resist.


We can choose how we feel. Izic chooses to get over painful situations when it comes to his adults. He may have a reaction but it won't ruin his day. As adults, we have the option to be more discerning when it comes to who we choose to open up to. The discernment has to be extended to yourself, however, or you'll be blaming others for how you feel for the rest of your life. ("he makes me feel...") You feel a certain way. No one makes you. And, as you turn your awareness inward to see where your feelings stem from, you will gradually become less and less influenced by them.


Our practice this week will be to cultivate the wherewithal to know when you're reacting and the ability to let it go.

New Year Mind Set

Everyone has a different way they foresee this new year beginning "right". There seems to be a romanticized idea, generally, about new beginnings. We feel empowered to make promises for change we won't follow through with.

This week is a bit of a new week for me because I haven't taught classes in weeks. When considering what kind of class to offer, it occurred to me that practice, regardless of the time of year, should empower you to make steps toward the kind of changes you need in your life.

This weeks offering will be as well rounded as possible. There will be stretch, power, breath, stillness and restoration.

We will not dwell on what could be wrong. Consider the promise inherent in every day; a new year; the potential for a new beginning. See the possibilities and accept that you may have to work to realize them.