Comfortable in Your Own Skin: Make your self a home

Continuing our series of mental tranquility practices, this week we consider finding comfort inside of ourselves, whether it be accepting certain physical limitations, mental predilections, or emotional tendencies. It's a psychological phenomenon, the inner conflict that arises when what we project outwardly is different then the truth of what's happening inside. Cognitive dissonance is the technical term. Sometimes we can't even see it. It may be the result of feeling inadequate. It may be that your particular emotions are not in sync with social norms. Regardless of the cause, working to accept all parts of yourself, even those you don't like, is well worth your time.
When the colder weather hits we may seek to comfort and warm ourselves, not only with extra clothing but with food and our homes. We are more likely to be stationary when it's winter, but stationary doesn't have to mean sedentary. And comfort food doesn't have to mean fat and sugar. Practice opening up to the idea of nurturing yourself. When you truly nurture yourself, it isn't  something you'll regret later.

Take time, not just this week, but through the winter months to examine what you do to comfort yourself. What techniques do you already utilize to calm and nurture yourself? Let's expand upon this foundation. I think any self nurturing you can do has to start with the mentality that you deserve it. Sometimes, without meaning to or realizing it, we hold things against ourselves. Maybe embarrassment over a poorly handled interaction with someone, or something you missed at work. Learn how you feel about yourself. Watch how you treat yourself, how you speak to yourself. Believe that you deserve better. Create a space inside of yourself that feels like home; occupy that space.

I attended part of a workshop over the weekend that was a presentation for caregivers and how they can care for themselves. One of the things that came up was sometimes when you're taking care of a loved one your needs can become over shadowed by their needs. We may not all have to care for an ailing loved one, but we all have things we must take care of. We all have decisions that must be made; have to choose between getting one thing and another done. I always struggle with the dishes/children decision. I have to do the dishes, but I only have a limited time to spend playing with my kids. It's how we handle these kinds of choices that will determine how we feel about ourselves later. Both have to get done. One for the health and development of my children and the other because we need to use the utensils. It took me a long time to realize I can do both. It's more about the quality of the attention paid to the task at hand. Hone your awareness, your ability to focus on a task and your work will get done better and quicker. You'll be better able to handle the unexpected. You'll be less stressed and better able to relax.