Not the fleeting happiness we find in the transitory. We are happy or sad or upset or content all in the same day. There are things that happen in a day that we react to and therefore we have shifts in our mood.
But, we also have an overall mood to our lives. I am a mostly upbeat person. There are others who are mostly upset. There are choices you make every day in your life that can either move you toward or away from overall well-ness.
I have been making an effort to reduce the number of sweets I have in a day. Recently I chose to buy some but not eat them. I had other snacks that were better choices. I felt happy; proud of my choice. But, I know myself well enough now to understand that I will allow that good feeling to slip away later when I have a craving for sugar. (I am less resolute in the afternoon) I have to attempt to remember that good feeling; remember how good it can feel to make healthy choices so later, when I crave, I can choose healthy again.
When you're struggling to eliminate a habit that you recognize as destructive, it can be very challenging. It can be years in the struggle. A good friend of mine suggested, when counseling me about a habit I knew to be unhelpful but couldn't stop, not to be too disappointed by my lack of progress. It had taken 20 something years (at that point) to make it a habit, so how could I expect to be done with it immediately?
While that is true, there needs to be some concerted effort made to get out of the groove, or you'll stay there forever.
This week I'd like you to notice what choices you make that make you happy in the moment but really creates suffering in the long run. A great example of this (and there are many) is procrastination. I am still struggling with this one. There's a freeze that happens in me when confronted with certain situations. Definitely not helpful.
There's smoking, drinking, credit, excessive amounts of any food or entertainment. Basically any coping mechanism that pacifies your pain. When you're pacified you are not forced to face, and subsequently deal with to incorporate, your emotions. Then you create a problem that can only last for so long. Because those emotions will be felt. So you'll start buying more stuff, or drinking more or watching more TV or playing more video games. Or even working longer hours. Anything to distract.
If it is true that you can choose something that feels good in the short term but creates strain in the long term, it is true of the opposite. Choosing not to give into your habit creates stress for a period of time. And it will feel like a long time. But, ultimately you are choosing well.
Something I'm trying with Izic this week to help his memory is 10 minutes of silence. I don't know about you, but every time I sit down to practice pranayama or meditation, I remember something. So, I'm asking Izic to sit (or lay) for 10 minutes everyday and focus on breathing deeply. He has a pad of paper and a pen with him so he can write down what comes up for him. This may be a useful exercise for you. You may not have an issue remembering things, but maybe you have trouble reflecting on your day without emotional stress. If you find a comfortable position and a deep breath for 10 minutes a day, maybe you'll be better able to come to terms with some of your troubles. Writing them down maybe useful to get them out of the way.
It reminds me of the pensieve, for the Harry Potter fans. :) The headmaster of the school had a device in which he could extract thoughts and view them from a detached perspective. This is yoga in our lives. People at Hogwarts used magic. Our way may take more work and more time, but it is no less effective.
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