Now that the weather is (much!) nicer, people are out and about. I don't know if you've ever noticed how people behave when they're hanging outside, but take a surreptitious look the next time you do. People are very aware that they are visible to others, particularly after such a long time being inside. Some look to make sure you're looking at them, others want to know what the hell you're looking at.
We are communicating all the time. Even when we're not speaking. There is an honesty in body language that we can get around with words. We also exchange energy with those in proximity to us, giving us a feeling of others. When we exist in the world we are exchanging with everyone we meet. Have you ever walked by someone and felt awkward? There is no particular reason to be, it's just that person feels a certain way to you.
This week we will focus on the neck/throat and shoulders. Be aware of what you're really communicating. When we practice we engage in a communication with all the disparate parts of ourselves. Notice how you move your body. What comes into your mind as you practice certain postures. Be aware of these details. As you understand yourself better you will be more honest and open in your communication with others.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Stability
What happens when your happiness is tied to something as variable as the weather?
It's puzzling but undeniable. We hate the weather. This year has been particularly trying, but even when all goes to plan we are annoyed by it. I'll confess to it. Last weekend was too cold. In a week and a half it will be June and I find frost advisories unacceptable.
How about your fluctuating feelings toward your spouse?
When we are in relationships we're upset at our partner and when we're not in relationships we're upset that we're alone. I find this to be a very tiring duality. Yet it's one that I can not but hold myself accountable for. There is a story in The Art of Joyful Living in which the author (Swami Rama) witnesses his guru receive a visitor. His guru responds to the visitors' comment about being alone by saying he was with his highest self before the visitor arrived, and was only lonely since he was distracted by the visitor. I haven't gotten to that place. I have always been lonely when alone. But I can't deny the challenges of sharing a life with someone. It makes for some serious roller coaster moments.
When circumstances in our lives change greatly over a short period of time it is important to have stability to fall back in. We need to have firm, stable ground under our feet in order to weather the metaphorical storms we're faced with. If we can cultivate this ground we can be content with out lives. If we can view the events of our lives as a whole instead of in little devastating incidents we stand a much better chance of being happy, or at least content.
This week's asana is designed to strengthen your ground. With balances and standing poses we will find our base and discover how it relates to our center. With breath, intention and posture we will work to accumulate and contain energy. If you create a stable container for your energy (prana = life force) when you encounter challenging situations you will have the ability to deal with them, instead of falling over under their weight. In knowing better who you are, you are able to be that in any situation.
Monday, May 12, 2014
The Blame Game
Who do you blame?
I am on a roll with this happiness thing so lets consider this: who do you blame for the things that "happen to you"? I was lucky enough to have a good friend visit me over the weekend. She has recovered as much as she ever will from a serious traumatic injury. She mentioned she was having swelling and pain but that it was her own fault. She knows well her limitations, but sometimes she pushes the issue. This struck me in stark contrast to some patients I encounter in a day. There are people who blame everyone but themselves for their own difficulty. Even when there's no one to blame for their condition, they increase their discomfort unnecessarily with things like: the doctor don't really care and is in it for the money or their families are self involved and don't see them enough, etc.
This is a victimizing mentality. When you blame others for your actions you give away your strength and ability. This is in no way to detract from the very real problem of coping with a serious chronic illness. Sometimes accidents happen and sometimes people get sick. It's natural to want to know why. People want to believe they could have done something differently or at least have the satisfaction of being upset with the culprit. I am no exception. Maybe if the person in front of me in traffic would do the speed limit (or faster!) I wouldn't be late. (Or, maybe if I left the house on time) Maybe if Sydonia would sleep more at nap time I could get in a better practice. (Maybe I can be more creative with the time I have until she's older) Everyone I come into contact with is a potential source of responsibility for the troubles of my day. It is in my perspective that I take back my day.
I tend to shrug off some of my personality traits as part of my nature. And, it's true, I have always been an easy going person. But, I have worked over many years to understand my perspective. I have tried to give up blaming and let go of ways of thinking that increase tension. I am a happy person. It's because I choose to look very carefully at my life and see how fortunate I am in it. Sometimes it's a purposeful few moments for me to find the perspective that allows me freedom from frustration and bitterness. Ok, maybe more than a few. But, I find it. And, when I can't, I let go.
This week we will stretch and strengthen our "let go" muscles. We will focus on the back body, hips and spine. How much time do you spend in your eyes? I know that sounds odd, but we spend a lot of time experiencing the world from the level of our eyes. How much time do you spend in your front body? Can you draw your awareness into your back? We will try to detach from the flexibility of the front body and spend time in the stability and steadiness of the back. Maybe all you need is that subtle shift in perspective.
I am on a roll with this happiness thing so lets consider this: who do you blame for the things that "happen to you"? I was lucky enough to have a good friend visit me over the weekend. She has recovered as much as she ever will from a serious traumatic injury. She mentioned she was having swelling and pain but that it was her own fault. She knows well her limitations, but sometimes she pushes the issue. This struck me in stark contrast to some patients I encounter in a day. There are people who blame everyone but themselves for their own difficulty. Even when there's no one to blame for their condition, they increase their discomfort unnecessarily with things like: the doctor don't really care and is in it for the money or their families are self involved and don't see them enough, etc.
This is a victimizing mentality. When you blame others for your actions you give away your strength and ability. This is in no way to detract from the very real problem of coping with a serious chronic illness. Sometimes accidents happen and sometimes people get sick. It's natural to want to know why. People want to believe they could have done something differently or at least have the satisfaction of being upset with the culprit. I am no exception. Maybe if the person in front of me in traffic would do the speed limit (or faster!) I wouldn't be late. (Or, maybe if I left the house on time) Maybe if Sydonia would sleep more at nap time I could get in a better practice. (Maybe I can be more creative with the time I have until she's older) Everyone I come into contact with is a potential source of responsibility for the troubles of my day. It is in my perspective that I take back my day.
I tend to shrug off some of my personality traits as part of my nature. And, it's true, I have always been an easy going person. But, I have worked over many years to understand my perspective. I have tried to give up blaming and let go of ways of thinking that increase tension. I am a happy person. It's because I choose to look very carefully at my life and see how fortunate I am in it. Sometimes it's a purposeful few moments for me to find the perspective that allows me freedom from frustration and bitterness. Ok, maybe more than a few. But, I find it. And, when I can't, I let go.
This week we will stretch and strengthen our "let go" muscles. We will focus on the back body, hips and spine. How much time do you spend in your eyes? I know that sounds odd, but we spend a lot of time experiencing the world from the level of our eyes. How much time do you spend in your front body? Can you draw your awareness into your back? We will try to detach from the flexibility of the front body and spend time in the stability and steadiness of the back. Maybe all you need is that subtle shift in perspective.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
What Drowns Your Happiness?
Not the fleeting happiness we find in the transitory. We are happy or sad or upset or content all in the same day. There are things that happen in a day that we react to and therefore we have shifts in our mood.
But, we also have an overall mood to our lives. I am a mostly upbeat person. There are others who are mostly upset. There are choices you make every day in your life that can either move you toward or away from overall well-ness.
I have been making an effort to reduce the number of sweets I have in a day. Recently I chose to buy some but not eat them. I had other snacks that were better choices. I felt happy; proud of my choice. But, I know myself well enough now to understand that I will allow that good feeling to slip away later when I have a craving for sugar. (I am less resolute in the afternoon) I have to attempt to remember that good feeling; remember how good it can feel to make healthy choices so later, when I crave, I can choose healthy again.
When you're struggling to eliminate a habit that you recognize as destructive, it can be very challenging. It can be years in the struggle. A good friend of mine suggested, when counseling me about a habit I knew to be unhelpful but couldn't stop, not to be too disappointed by my lack of progress. It had taken 20 something years (at that point) to make it a habit, so how could I expect to be done with it immediately?
While that is true, there needs to be some concerted effort made to get out of the groove, or you'll stay there forever.
This week I'd like you to notice what choices you make that make you happy in the moment but really creates suffering in the long run. A great example of this (and there are many) is procrastination. I am still struggling with this one. There's a freeze that happens in me when confronted with certain situations. Definitely not helpful.
There's smoking, drinking, credit, excessive amounts of any food or entertainment. Basically any coping mechanism that pacifies your pain. When you're pacified you are not forced to face, and subsequently deal with to incorporate, your emotions. Then you create a problem that can only last for so long. Because those emotions will be felt. So you'll start buying more stuff, or drinking more or watching more TV or playing more video games. Or even working longer hours. Anything to distract.
If it is true that you can choose something that feels good in the short term but creates strain in the long term, it is true of the opposite. Choosing not to give into your habit creates stress for a period of time. And it will feel like a long time. But, ultimately you are choosing well.
Something I'm trying with Izic this week to help his memory is 10 minutes of silence. I don't know about you, but every time I sit down to practice pranayama or meditation, I remember something. So, I'm asking Izic to sit (or lay) for 10 minutes everyday and focus on breathing deeply. He has a pad of paper and a pen with him so he can write down what comes up for him. This may be a useful exercise for you. You may not have an issue remembering things, but maybe you have trouble reflecting on your day without emotional stress. If you find a comfortable position and a deep breath for 10 minutes a day, maybe you'll be better able to come to terms with some of your troubles. Writing them down maybe useful to get them out of the way.
It reminds me of the pensieve, for the Harry Potter fans. :) The headmaster of the school had a device in which he could extract thoughts and view them from a detached perspective. This is yoga in our lives. People at Hogwarts used magic. Our way may take more work and more time, but it is no less effective.
But, we also have an overall mood to our lives. I am a mostly upbeat person. There are others who are mostly upset. There are choices you make every day in your life that can either move you toward or away from overall well-ness.
I have been making an effort to reduce the number of sweets I have in a day. Recently I chose to buy some but not eat them. I had other snacks that were better choices. I felt happy; proud of my choice. But, I know myself well enough now to understand that I will allow that good feeling to slip away later when I have a craving for sugar. (I am less resolute in the afternoon) I have to attempt to remember that good feeling; remember how good it can feel to make healthy choices so later, when I crave, I can choose healthy again.
When you're struggling to eliminate a habit that you recognize as destructive, it can be very challenging. It can be years in the struggle. A good friend of mine suggested, when counseling me about a habit I knew to be unhelpful but couldn't stop, not to be too disappointed by my lack of progress. It had taken 20 something years (at that point) to make it a habit, so how could I expect to be done with it immediately?
While that is true, there needs to be some concerted effort made to get out of the groove, or you'll stay there forever.
This week I'd like you to notice what choices you make that make you happy in the moment but really creates suffering in the long run. A great example of this (and there are many) is procrastination. I am still struggling with this one. There's a freeze that happens in me when confronted with certain situations. Definitely not helpful.
There's smoking, drinking, credit, excessive amounts of any food or entertainment. Basically any coping mechanism that pacifies your pain. When you're pacified you are not forced to face, and subsequently deal with to incorporate, your emotions. Then you create a problem that can only last for so long. Because those emotions will be felt. So you'll start buying more stuff, or drinking more or watching more TV or playing more video games. Or even working longer hours. Anything to distract.
If it is true that you can choose something that feels good in the short term but creates strain in the long term, it is true of the opposite. Choosing not to give into your habit creates stress for a period of time. And it will feel like a long time. But, ultimately you are choosing well.
Something I'm trying with Izic this week to help his memory is 10 minutes of silence. I don't know about you, but every time I sit down to practice pranayama or meditation, I remember something. So, I'm asking Izic to sit (or lay) for 10 minutes everyday and focus on breathing deeply. He has a pad of paper and a pen with him so he can write down what comes up for him. This may be a useful exercise for you. You may not have an issue remembering things, but maybe you have trouble reflecting on your day without emotional stress. If you find a comfortable position and a deep breath for 10 minutes a day, maybe you'll be better able to come to terms with some of your troubles. Writing them down maybe useful to get them out of the way.
It reminds me of the pensieve, for the Harry Potter fans. :) The headmaster of the school had a device in which he could extract thoughts and view them from a detached perspective. This is yoga in our lives. People at Hogwarts used magic. Our way may take more work and more time, but it is no less effective.
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