Non Judgement: The Roots of Attachment

In order to be attached to anything, we must be convinced of its' worth.

Just as wanting isn't necessarily a bad thing, there is an historic precident for judgement. There is a certain amount of discernment necessary to navigate society. Who we surround ourselves with strongly effects our lives. We must decide what kind of person we want to be and that will be reflected in the company we keep.

But, there is also a judemental attitude that pervades our society that keeps us separate and keeps us grasping. It has nothing to do with bettering ourselves or growth; on seeing things with a discerning eye. It's the voice in your head (and maybe out of your mouth) that calls people different from you names. The voice that has an inflexible idea of right and wrong that condemns those who think and behave differently. It is also the voice that keeps you down. It's the voice that tells you you can't, you shouldn't, you'll fail, you look stupid. It's the voice that prevents you from trying a yoga class, even though you want to, and it's the voice that turns the class into a competition once you're there.

We all have attributes we're not thrilled about and this is definitely one of mine. I call people stupid all the time. Not even anyone specifically. Just "People are stupid." Recently I thought, by what measure? It's such a dismissive and mean thing to say. As if I've never done anything that someone would consider stupid. (I ask those close to me to hold their tongues ;) The point is, it's this kind of thinking that prevents compassion and keeps us separate from one another. It keeps us individuals and keeps us from feeling comfortable in a crowd.

Have you ever met anyone who is comfortable in their own skin? Is it not a relief? There's something magnetic about a person who is themselves without apology. Who is so comfortable they don't have to show off or try to impress. They are few and far between. And even they get nervous in a crowd.

I have, with a good deal of practice, begun to be able to have a day without having to review every detail at the end of it to find what I should be cringing about. Sometimes I fall back into that rut, but I invite you to let go of whatever judgements you're holding over yourself that keep you anxious and unsure. Open your perspective so you can see what another is going through with compassion, even if they did "bring it upon themselves." Remember that you are they and they are you. Begin to see the judgemets you place on yourself are the judgements you hold against others. As you free yourself, everyone becomes more free.