Seeing What Can't be Seen

Our ego is the part of ourselves  that needs to be seen by others. As a result it is often overly concerned what others will think of us. A fact that anyone who wants to make money preys on with enormous success. When we move through life without mindfulness, we give our egos free reign over our decisions and their resulting actions.

We navigate our realities, making decisions in them, through the use of our senses. Each collects stimuli with which we interpret our interactions with others. Interpret is an important concept here. We've all heard about the one event viewed by many. There are as many different accounts of the event as there are viewers. Our interpretations must be tempered by a knowledge of ourselves. Our motivations and experiences color our interpretation of objective stimuli. We judge because we have emotional reactions to any given set of circumstances.

This week we contemplate our inner sight. That point of view which has a broader view of things than our egos. That part of ourselves which makes wise decisions. In order to hear or see with this particular perspective we must place less emphasis on our physical senses. They are vital for processing that which is in front of us, but are distracting when considering that which lies within.
Examine the demands of your ego. Are they actions that would set you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself?

When you listen to the silence are there other ideas that reach you?

Do Not Fear Silence

Communication is the key to our relationships. This is why I emphasis awareness of our inner tone. How you relate to yourself is an important indicator of your attitude in the world. But just as important is the tone of the silence between words and conversations.

There are many ways of communicating, the voice and choice of words but one. We use our body more often than words and because it is at times unconscious, it is a more honest form of communication  Our face readily expresses what we're thinking. Our eyes have been described as the window to our souls. 

We can also express ourselves through a medium, such as the written word, paint, an instrument or clay. Each is an opportunity to tell the world how the artist feels. 

Choice is a focal idea when it comes to many things, but in communication it is an important consideration. What we feel in a given moment, if we are not mindful, can be expressed in a way that is designed to make others reflect how we feel. You've heard the phrase misery loves company. This is true of all emotions. It's easier to wish good upon others when you're feeling that you've experienced good. Even if you don't wish for anyone to feel bad when you do, everyone expresses themselves to others. If you are not diligent you will lash out without meaning to.

Another aspect of communication we use constantly is energy exchange. Have you ever entered a room and been able to sense the mood, even if no one is speaking? Known what your partner or child is feeling, even if they don't say? Ever had someone ask you a question and heard the question they'd like to ask underneath? It's in silent moments we can pick up on theses feelings.

It's the silence with which I would have you concern yourselves with this week. Do you fear the quiet? Is it because there are things going on in your head you're avoiding? Is there an incessant stream of consciousness conversation occurring every time you see a certain person because if it were quiet you'd think of all the things that aren't being said? 

In the silence is where you must practice existing. When you come to terms with the silence, what you fill it with will be more meaningful and honest. And maybe you won't find yourself blathering away incessantly or plugging in head phones as often. Or saying something that people immediately know to be untrue because your energy and body language are honest and you words are not. 

Silence allows you the opportunity to listen. As you address your issues so the silence becomes welcome, you will be surprised at what you pick up. Not only will you hear the full nuance of conversations, you will know things that people aren't saying out loud. 

Our practice this week will be centered around the throat. We will explore those thoughts we tend to fill our silent moments with. We will work to open ourselves to being receptive, instead of filling space to be comfortable and stuck. 

Be True to Yourself

Just make sure its to your Self, not your self...

Having an open heart can be a pretty scary proposition. It seems sometimes that our emotional defenses really protect us from pain. But you prevent yourself from fully processing and subsequently letting go of your pain. Having an open heart can allow you the opportunity not only to serve others compassionately, but also to care for and serve yourself.

Consider the intentions of the past few weeks. Having developed a firm, grounded outlook, coupled with the ability to be aware of emotions and let them go means we can have a clear, open heart. When we take action from that place, instead of from bitter experiences, our relationships will be filled with less strife. Even with ourselves. But if you are still having trouble letting go now is the time to forgive yourself those things. Make yourself once again aware of the tone of your inner monologue. Why do you sound that way? What are you holding against yourself? How does it influence your interaction with others?

This week's yoga will focus on opening the heart. Yoga is a process by which you can begin to look past the ego and know your true Self. That part of yourself which isn't swayed by the opinions of others. That part of yourself that isn't petty and narrow minded. That part of yourself that knows what you inflict on others, you inflict on yourself, and vice versa. Show compassion to yourself and you will be able to do so for others. If you can't, show compassion for others and begin to open to the idea that you also deserve the same.

Agni

Digestive Fire

Ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you to the concept of internal fire, agni. It is the digestive flame that resides at our navel. When I say it digests, I mean it breaks down so much more than just food. Because we take in so much more than food. It helps us to assimilate food, stimuli, experiences, and emotions.

When our agni aspect is weak, we have a harder time digesting everything. We may end up constipated, we may end up lingering in a negative emotional state, we may replay something that happened to us over and over again in an effort to understand it. When our agni aspect has been stoked properly, we have determination and drive. We will be better able to choose wisely for ourselves, as we will be less mired in the past. We will be physically lighter and feel better.

We must keep our fire burning brightly, and not just the flame, but the coals. Without a hotly smoldering bunch of coals, our flame will be weak and therefore less effective. Fire requires fuel, oxygen and a heat source to exist. We breathe oxygen, so that's convenient. We also consume our fuel. Our heat source is the movements we make with our bodies, so we have what we need for a healthy and bright fire. Lastly, but also important, we need to regularly clean our fireplaces. When you practice yoga with an agni concentration, it is important to continually clear out the ash so we don't get bogged down in the remnants what we're trying to eliminate.

This week think about what you would like to use your fire to transform. What no longer serves you? What do you cling to regardless of the cost? What baggage from the past are you carrying around with you? What do you eat, or drink, or smoke, that keeps you stuck? Are you avoiding physical activity? Are the choices you make reflective of the best version of you?

Choose something and offer it to the fire. Utilize the transformative nature of your internal flame to realize your potential.

Be The Best Version of Yourself

"Home is where my habits have a habitat"  - Fiona Apple

This weekend I had the immense pleasure and privilege to participate in a workshop led by my teacher, Lauren Toolin. She titled it Jivayate, which translates as bring back to life. It was a practice of self care. One of the many ideas that came up was that yoga helps you become the best version of yourself. 

Oh if only life were simple and you were already the best version of you. But we're mired in behavioral habits and emotional baggage. Being this best version is going to take some work. They say nothing is worth having that you didn't work for. Well, with the commitment to consistent effort, we can become this shining example of the pinnacle of us. 

The holidays are an interesting experiment in trying for joy in the face of significant stress. Now maybe that describes your typical day, but the holidays are particularly trying, if you let them be. Visiting with family, sometimes several families, can be a strain on one's good attitude. The people we grow up with influence strongly the adults we become, and sometimes interacting with them causes perfectly reasonable adults to revert to childhood conditioning. Have you ever had that moment with your family where it's as if you're standing outside yourself, watching your behavior and thinking "what are you doing?!"? 

There are many ways to ameliorate stress and not all of them are yoga. Staying mindful amid chaos and giving yourself what you need is the epitome of self care. It boils down to self reflection. Be brave enough to be honest with yourself. How much of your stress is self imposed? How important is your stress to your sense of self? Do you feel less worthy when you're more relaxed? Do you feel less purposeful when you aren't filling your time with things to do? Things to take care of? When you're not giving your energy away?

This week's intention is an exploration of energy containment. We will move repeatedly from our center of gravity and spine out to our extremities (but no further) and back again with breath and asana. Each tour to our extremities is a chance to eliminate blockages and release tension, thereby increasing ease of energy movement in the body. By containing this process to ourselves we keep more energy, becoming more radiant  As we return to center, we keep the radiance and gain groundedness, without which our radiance would make us flighty and we would be more apt to let that energy seep from us.

We all have a choice but I know there are circumstances. I know I am better able to let go of stress and nourish myself when I am surrounded by others trying to do the same. Which is why I go to yoga workshops. I not only learn principles to pass on to you, but I apply them to myself in a room full of others doing the same thing. Solidarity baby. There are studies that show you lose more weight if you workout with a friend. You will be more mindful if you surround yourself with mindful people. It is also much easier for me to practice nourishing myself if I don't have a full time job. It is truly remarkable the extent to which all of this goodness goes out the window when I am fatigued and stressed from having to leave the house every day. From having to be responsible for a job, my part in the house, the kids, etc. The list seems to go on and on. But those are the times when these ideas are the most important to experience. When you're at our lowest it is imperative to take care of yourself. 

Go with the Flow

Feelings are much like waves; we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.
- Jonatan Marensson

Equanimity: mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.
(thank you google)


Emotions are a daily challenge that everyone deals with. By watching how we react to situations, we can gain a greater understanding of ourselves.

It's not always a possibility to stand back and see an emotional reaction objectively. Sometimes we want to wallow. Sometimes it's fun to wallow. To wrap yourself in that anger or sadness, joy or anxiety and spend all day feeling that way. To be completely self indulgent. This could have the potential to be beneficial if we discover the cause of our emotional turmoil in the process, but it's not the healthiest way to go about it.

Hopefully more often we are interested in riding the emotions, surfing them to gain some perspective. Equanimity is the balance required to surf successfully. When we practice mindfulness in the face of strong emotions, we learn how to balance those emotions in the rest of our lives. We can then have an evenness to our lives, which means reduced stress, less pain and being able to make healthy choices for ourselves.

Chemical intervention in dealing with emotional issues is not only common in our society, it's encouraged. From the medical industrial complex that has allowed the growth of pharmaceutical companies into billion dollar organizations, to the marketing budgets of tobacco, alcohol, or even coffee and candy companies, the push to look outside yourself for chemical numbness is everywhere. That's not to mention the money spent on illegal drugs. Or the illegal use of legal drugs. We as a society are looking to feel better. Quickly. While this myriad choices relieves pain or enhances pleasure, it is a temporary situation. It is one that reduces your ability to be equanimous. Yoga and exercise both result in chemical changes in the body. This is the same reaction that allows for seemingly non-addictive pursuits can become a problem for people (sex, shopping and gambling). While the chemical changes that occur as a result of exercise could be considered by some, and is for some, an unhealthy addiction, it is more often a healthy choice. When done in moderation (and therefore balanced) and with mindfulness, you can achieve insight and equanimity.

This week's techniques in class will build on the strength and flexibility of foundation that we cultivated last week. Surfing requires very strong muscles, but without the flexibility you will fall. The ability to let go is important when riding what is coming at you. If you get caught watching the wave you missed, you'll get clobbered by the next one to come along. We will utilize ujjayi, ocean breath. It is a pranayama technique that refines your breath. It creates heat, essential to the process of refinement, and with it your body learns to to more with less. As you watch the breath, it focuses your mind and helps to keep you present.

Foundation

Consider these few basic yogic ideas:

OM - Hindus believe the sound of OM is the vibration which holds the entire universe together. In yoga, we OM in class to experience that cohesion. We join our individual vibrations so that they may be synchronized. OM is also a reminder of our influence. As we use our voice we vibrate air molecules. The nature of sound transmission is the vibration of atoms. Each atom vibrates the one next to it until it vibrates the inner ear of your neighbor. Imagine you can see this movement in the air molecules after your OM. See the sphere of your influence. We quite literally move the world, and the people in it, with our voices. It is important to understand the responsibility inherent with that kind of power. Not only do we have an impact on others because they have an emotional reaction to the words we choose to use, we literally move them internally. We must be aware of this responsibility. The foundation of our relationships with other beings is our communication with them. We are constantly transmitting our thoughts energetically, physically and vocally. We must be discerning of what we emit. As yogis we strive to understand our own emotional reactions to others, but not everyone is seeking such awareness. Those people will react and blame you for your callousness. Strive to eliminate the damage you do with your vibrations. (This is one way to practice ahimsa (non violence), the first of the niyamas in Patangali's Yoga Sutra.) 

Sama Vrtti - A pranayama technique that translates as same fluctuation. Pranayama is breathing practice. Prana is the sanskrit word for life force, similar to Traditional Chinese Medicine's chi. Yogis believe prana rides the breath. Therefore every inhalation results in the acquisition of prana. Yogis also believe illness is the result of prana being unable to flow freely through the body. So we practice breathing techniques in order to manipulate prana (energy) with the intention of freeing it to flow unhindered throughout the body. 

The breath is also a useful diagnostic tool. It gives you insight into your current state of mind. The breath is never breathed yesterday or tomorrow. As such it is used in yoga practice (and can be used anytime) to keep the mind present. Sama vrtti specifically can be useful in keeping the mind present and thoughts or emotions on an even keel.

Foundation - Your foundation is always in the seat of your asana (physical pose), whether that be your feet, hands or actually your seat. In some cases the word asana is translated as seat. This week's asana will focus on strengthening the legs while increasing flexibility in the hips. Strength without flexibility creates a brittle situation. In this case, your muscles work on your bones to create lasting detrimental changes. You may look good for a while, but you will eventually be in pain on a regular basis. Which is also true of unused muscle, so a balance of strength and flexibility is important  As the body and mind are inexorably linked, what one does to the body, one also does to the mind. As you increase your flexibility physically, so too the mind becomes flexible. As physical strength increases, so too your strength of character. Such is true of the extremes as well. An overly developed body means an inflexible mind, one stuck in habits it is unable to detect. A weak physique means a weak will. You will surely be at the mercy of every desire to overtake you. 

Be Your Own Motivational Speaker

10/29/12

     I have a terrible time motivating myself. Even to do things that I want to do, aren't difficult to do or won't take a lot of time to do. The longer it takes me to complete a task, the harder it is for me to get done. Procrastination is ingrained in me, conditioned early on by those around me when I was a kid. These are the hardest habits to overcome because they often are embodied by the first loves of our lives. 

    Even if you're not a procrastinator, everyone has something that is a chore for them. Maybe some days it's going to work, or working out or getting to class. Maybe it's being nice to the person you think is moronic. Maybe it's holding down dog (adho mukha svanasana) or a warrior pose (virhavadrasana). I know a few who despise pigeon (eka pada rajakapotasana). Sometimes doing the healthy thing is a difficult decision to make. Doing something good for yourself, taking care of yourself, knowing what you need and taking action based on that knowledge isn't always easy for those used to caring for others first. Maybe resisting something you know you shouldn't do is a challenge often unmet.  

     The list could go on and on. It would be so much easier if there were someone energetic and enthusiastic who could follow us around all day and tell us how wonderful and capable we really are. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen (all the time) so you have to be your own motivational speaker. In order to effectively do so, you have to believe in yourself. Yes, I am fully aware that this is a cliche, but that doesn't make it any less true. Your inner monologue has to be not only positive but true. So examine the voice with which you speak to yourself. What does it sound like? How does it compare to the way you speak to others? How does it compare to the way you would find unacceptable to speak even to the person you find the most irritating? 

    If the answer to these questions is cruel and unacceptable for addressing another human, then there may be some room for improvement. You are an exceptional, capable human being. Everyday you are learning how to be even better. Find these truths about yourself . Settle into the point of view that you are excellent, backed by the facts of what you are capable of. Then you can look at those pieces of yourself you don't like without the nasty voice. You will be able to accept these aspects as another part of your glorious self. These less than desirable traits don't make you bad. They don't make you wrong. Nor are you wrong for hating them. You don't need to be fixed. 

    Remember, if there is something you don't like about yourself, 

    Everything changes. 

You do Not Need to be Fixed

10/15/12

          Recently, I did my first (brief) asana practice since Sydonia was born. It was purposefully slow and deliberate. I needed to assess what my abilities have become. The thought that occurred to me while breathing was “There’s nothing about yourself that needs to be fixed.” It’s easy to get caught up in the self improvement mentality of yoga. Especially when you are feeling vulnerable and out of touch with yourself, whether it be physical body or mental processes. While it is important to be honest with yourself about the level of your ability, it is equally important not to compare that ability. Only you can decide what is appropriate for you. If you start watching people around you with the intention of being like them or better than them, you will set yourself up to be insecure.

Validate your own self worth from within instead of relying on validation from others. There is nothing wrong with you. You simply require attention. Being aware of yourself and the reason behind your thoughts and actions will allow you to act as opposed to react. You will choose actions that are appropriate for you and the situation, instead of what may be imposed upon you by some societal standard or what may be a habit of your personality from years of conditioning.

If you can be confident of yourself and your abilities, you won’t need to rely on the fleeting opinions of others. Positive or negative, the opinions of others will hold less sway when you take the time to reaffirm what you already know: that you are a capable individual who deserves good in your life.

            So practice a positive and honest inner monologue. Move slowly enough to examine your range of motion with out the risk of injury from over reaching. Don’t let your practice be another way to enforce your habitual way of thinking. Don’t use your practice as a platform to prove anything to yourself. Be open and watch. As you practice yoga or even as you move through your day, listen to the tone of voice you habitually address yourself with. Make sure that you don’t tear yourself down. There are enough people in the world willing to tear you down to temporarily feel better about themselves. Take time to pay attention enough to yourself to gradually shift your thoughts from negative to positive and uplifting. 

A Moment in Time

8/26/12

            I have waited a long time to have another child. When I contemplate labor and delivery, I feel immediate fear and apprehension. I have the great fortune of experience, having had a child before, but my previous experience was over shadowed by fear. I was so intimidated by the prospect of pain and suffering, and subsequent motherhood that I did not sufficiently prepare. Today I have many techniques to attempt to alleviate these strong emotions, as well as help me through labor and delivery, thanks to my yoga practice.

            Mantra is one such technique that I full intend on utilizing before, during and after labor. It can be a powerful tool for self transformation. The mantra I've encountered in yoga classes have been Sanskrit prayers; or the translations of them. But for my purposes (endurance and focus in the face of excruciating pain) I have been contemplating the idea of a moment in time.

            A moment in time is a good mantra for anytime in life, for any person. I remember in high school I had a note that I posed in my room which read “This too shall pass”. Through anxiety, sadness, pain, even happiness and joy, we have but to endure each moment to get through it. We can rest assured that things will change, if given enough time. This idea can get us through difficult times.

Time is so very subjective. How often have you looked retrospectively at an event in your life to notice how quickly the time passed as it occurred, yet while you were in the midst of it, it seemed like an eternity?

                        As far as asana is concerned, remembering but a moment in time while you practice any asana that you find irritating, painful, or otherwise difficult, can help you persevere through those difficulties. If I were going to teach this class, I’d pick as many irritating poses as I could think of. In order to truly practice this idea, don't run away from what you dislike. Watch your reactions while you endure the time and as you learn about yourself, you'll be able to handle the situation, or the feelings that arise from it, with grace. 

Welcome to the Journey

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to a place for self exploration.

Every week I will be posting the intention of the yoga classes I teach. I hope that this will not only give my students a chance to incorporate these ideas and the thoughts that result more fully into their lives (as opposed to giving them a glance but once a week) but also anyone who is interested in knowing themselves better.

Yoga has many benefits to the practitioner. Our society has latched on to the physical benefits because they're the easiest to see and measure, but you can be a yoga practitioner without ever having moved on a mat.

All are welcome here and I encourage you to share your thoughts as different perspectives will help us all learn and grow.