Presence

I have been progressively improving my ability to have more of my mind present in any given moment. I look back on my early yoga years and it is a quagmire of emotion. When Izic was at crucial stages I would be easily distracted, easily annoyed, angered and loud. I try not to feel bad about things that happened so long ago. Because that's just pointless. Factually speaking, though, I was not present. 

The pertinent point is that I've gotten better. I've grown as a person. Almost without my noticing, I have more patience, am better able to remember information (most days), and am less distracted from what's happening in front of me. This was not my intention when I began practicing yoga. If you've done it long enough you are sure to have come across unexpected benefits right along side of the one you were expecting. 

I have recently begun to feel an acceptance of the pace of life. I used to live as if there had to be something exciting and grandiose happening in any second. There is an inherent disappointment in that mentality. Focusing on what may or may not lie ahead can only cause pain. I didn't think a satisfaction in a small town and an apartment was in my future. There is a calm in being present. I certainly don't have it nailed all the way down yet. I read books while I wash dishes and I listen to podcasts while I drive or do the laundry. And sometimes I still ignore my kids to check Facebook. But I've achieved what I thought to be unachievable. And I am so grateful. There was only more disappointment and subsequent escapism inherent in my former mentality.

Inherent in all yoga practice is the idea of presence. This week it is the sole focus. How many ways can you stay here now? I've noticed the extent to which I am in my eyes can help greatly in being aware of what's happening. If my eyes are not focused, it's likely because I'm running scenerios in my head. Drishti is the sanskrit word for focus, which is typically used in reference to the gaze. With our eyes focused without tension we are better able to sense our internal environment and are therefore better able to be aware of our experience.