Subtlety

My classes are canceled this week so I can stay home and celebrate my son's (10/1 - 10 years) and fiancé's (10/3 - age undisclosed) birthdays.

But that isn't going to stop me from practicing. And hopefully it won't stop you either.

In the course of reading for my next module of teacher training, I came across information that deals with the idea that suffering rises from attachment and aversion. As we are constantly running away from one and toward the other we have no time/space to see there is more to existence. I was particularly moved by the description of how a pattern becomes reinforced and how emotional reactions increase our habits. As we are attached to things/concepts that reinforce our idea of who we are, when we are faced with ideas that contradict our own we react with aversion. We have an emotional reaction, a fearful reaction. When this happens we lose perspective. We no longer have access to the gap between our emotions and our actions. We react. We fall back on habitual patterns of action which then reinforces their use, making it that much more difficult to break them.

It's the speed we are forced to deal with that concerns and amazes me. It takes me no time at all to process stimuli and react to it. It has taken me a decade of practice to be able to insert a fingernail's width of space between the two and it's an exercise in mindfulness everyday, all day to keep it that way. It's so subtle. The amount of information we are forced to accept every day through our senses is so overwhelming. It's a constant barrage, because even when you're not constantly aware of it, your mind is still processing. We need to practice being aware of the subtle. It's easy to pay attention to the marching band. Can we begin to pick out individual instruments?

The exploration of subtlety is not one most want to engage in. My practice has changed quite a bit since I first began. I have developed the muscle tone to hold poses longer, which has become a necessity because I have also developed the awareness of more subtle information. There is a lot to be aware of, as you know, and as you become more spacious you have more room to notice. More details to notice. I love vinyasa classes, but it is important to slow down once and a while and make an effort to become more aware of the less obvious.

Asana coming next week.

Winter Prep

I know no one wants to hear that it's going to get cold and dark for the next 6 months, but sometimes the truth is hard to hear. Last Sunday, September 22nd marked the autumnal equinox. There are two equinoxes a year and they are determined by the Earth's angle to the sun, just as the solstices. The current, and ever shifting angle, is zero. The Earth's surface faces the sun's surface directly.

 

 

Therefore we experience 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night. Equal. Equinox. You get the idea.

 

This week's class came to me in a moment of silence. In an attempt to practice what I preach last week, the image of a pose I haven't practiced in a long time came to my mind. It's a modification. We will be trying it this week. It is a hip-py kind of pose which lead me to strive to develop a class which centers around hip work.

 

It was recently we worked to let go of baggage that prevents growth with a hip centered asana practice. Since we are headed into a season fraught with stagnation, we will practice once again to open the hips and release any emotional stagnation held there. It will not be a repeat of the last hip class, but a refinement. The hips not only are emotionally charged, they are physically challenging. A majority of people have jobs that require them to sit. If sitting for extended periods of time isn't in your job description, maybe standing is. Regardless, repetitive physical movements result in overuse in some muscles and weakness in others. This leads to stiffness. A lack of flexibility and habitual postures lead to chronic pain.

 

One of the things I like about the practice of yoga is that the body, mind (including emotions), and energetic components of an individual are considered inexorably linked. So, when I say a lack of flexibility leads to chronic pain, it exists on each level of person. When you utilize the same neural pathways you strengthen them, and reduce the chances you'll create or utilize new ones. This is lack of flexibility. This can lead to chronic choices which keep you stagnant. If you look at similar situations and react the same way each time, this leads to emotional stagnation.

 

This is why it is so important to acquire and maintain awareness. When we become aware of our habits we can then make gradual steps to change them; to increase our flexibility and become less susceptible to the kind of trouble that comes when we experience winter. It is easier to feel sad, unmotivated, discouraged, and any number of negative emotions when winter sets in, especially if you're not an outdoor winter activity kind of person. By practicing movement regularly now, you increase your chances of movement when you're lacking motivation to do so. Movement leads to motivation, increasingly positive moods, and, as you practice choosing actions that are healthy for you, you will increase the likelihood that you'll choose that way again.

 

Finally, winter and it's potential troubles are a result of a lack of light. What is important to remember is that you carry, create and emit your own light at all times. Just as the calm and spaciousness you experience after a yoga practice is yours to experience in times of stress, the light you are made of is yours to use even in the darkest of times, both literally and figuratively.

 

Namaste.

 

 

 

 



Clarity

Silence is not a large part of our lives, generally. We are stimulated sensorily at all times. In addition to the barrage of marketing we are subjected to, we avoid silence because when we are silent, our thoughts rush in to fill the void. Those thoughts that occur to us when we are unsuspecting can be filled with negativity. We carry with us our insecurities, our fear and anger. When we are quiet and engage our conscious mind we can get lost in the analyzing, justifying and judgment that can come with thinking about things that worry us.

We live in a material world (nobody sing), one with a tenuous grasp on the concept of energy or spirit. When we lose sight of the fact that existence is bigger than our lives and conscious perception of it, we become subject to worry about things that are of little significance. There is a mantra that translates as "I am that." There are several that suggest this idea that we are the universe. We are not separate entities. What makes the universe makes us as well. What fills the universe fills us as well. If you are a science minded individual, physicists have shown us that every element in the universe is created in stars. When they nova, they shoot the ingredients for planets and life out into the universe. So, on an ethereal level, you are inherently divine. On a physical level, you are made of stars.

Today we will practice moving in silence, sitting in silence and, hopefully, will achieve some measure of clarity at the end of it all.

In the mean time, try this:

Visualize being surrounded by fog. In the fog is all of your conscious thought. It holds all your doubts, fears, anxieties, embarrassment, and anything you typically hold against yourself on a given day. It is dense and opaque.

Take a step back.

Feel that you are emerging from this turmoil.

Take a step back.

Feel your back body free. Begin to see light.

Take a step back.

Be free of the fog. It still takes up your view but you are no longer bound to it. Watch it writhe and roil.

Take a step back.

Notice how light and relieved you feel. Begin to see, as you create distance between yourself and the fog, the edges of it.

Take a step back.

See how insignificant that turmoil is in comparison to all the space around it. Notice how small and petty it really is.

Begin to feel a breeze blow. It penetrates your skin and flows to every square inch of your being. Experience and appreciate your recent lightness of being. Feel the breeze become a wind. It becomes powerful enough to take your fog and carry it away from you. The fog dissipates and disappears. Feel how easy it is to exist calmly and quietly now that you've release your burden.

Acceptance (The Subtle Art of Letting Go)

I was outside with the baby on an amazingly beautiful day. She was playing with rocks while I sat nearby and let my mind wander. I ended up in a painful time in my life, thinking about a situation in which someone else experienced pain and I felt responsible for it. I know that I made a bad choice and the consequences were inflicted on someone else. It left me feeling guilty and upset. Then, part of my mind thought how ridiculous it was to feel so bad about something that happened so long ago. The thought stemmed from an idea of how another person might have viewed the situation. They may have thought it was silly to let something effect me so strongly after so long, so I immediately pushed it away. I didn't come to terms with it and let it go. I ignored it.

This week we will explore the concept of acceptance. I have spoken before about the ability to choose how you feel. It is important to make the distinction between choosing happiness and pushing down upset feelings. Choosing to be happy now by stomping down pain so you can ignore it is only going to result in greater pain at a future date. Maybe you'll always feel some lingering shame about certain episodes in your life. The question is, can you put aside those antiquated feelings and accept the fact that there are things you've chosen that were a bad idea, and move on? This is also a practice that can be aimed at feelings you cling to regarding the way you were effected by someone else's bad decision. Not to push down or aside those feelings of upset, but to come to terms with them. It is our own minds that insist on judgment and recrimination. The truth is that the incident is without value until we create some. It happened. It is something that happened that doesn't have to create future suffering. Hopefully, we can learn from it and our lives will be enriched by it. We can choose how we feel. We choose to experience melodrama so we can feel alive by experiencing the chemicals that create emotions.

This is work. This process involves consistent and regular awareness about who you are and how you react to experiences. The idea of letting go is easy to talk about but requires diligence to achieve. If you are in the habit of picking at scabs, it'll take some time to stop.

Asana this week will revolve around the hips. The hips are a repository of long held negative emotion we can't or won't let go of. When we manipulate the hips we encourage the flow of energy down and out, increasing our eliminative capabilities, so we can become more flexible in body and mind. When we have trouble digesting and eliminating stimuli and the resultant emotions we experience, that energetic stagnation translates into physical difficulty. If you have difficulty with your large intestine it may be that you have tension and fear around some of your experiences.

Pranayama will be sama vritti with a Let Go mantra. As you inhale, Let. As you exhale, Go. Allow the idea to permeate your mind and create ease within the structure of all postures. Experience the release of long held tension. Be aware of the areas of your body in which you hold your tension. As you become more aware of this, you will be able to notice in everyday life when you're experiencing tension and are ignoring it. Your body will always let you know.

(Find a Way to) Love Yourself

On my way to work I pass a church with a changeable sign, and lately it has said "love your neighbor as yourself". This got me wondering if I knew anyone who loved themselves. And not in the ego inflated narcissistic way, but a genuine appreciation for themselves.

I think the actions of the general population is reflective of the way people feel about themselves. If you had respect for yourself, you could have respect for others and demonstrate it. If you had compassion for your personality traits and characteristics, you would have patience for other peoples' peccadillos and treat them with compassion. But these qualities are not interesting. They don't perpetuate consumerism, they don't entertain. Therefore they are not valued as highly. Peace does not sell.

This week I will offer an exploration into your world in regard to your feelings about yourself. I have been, and continue to be, fascinated by the mind's ability to compartmentalize to such a degree that we can lie to ourselves. We can believe we have great self esteem but in actuality, be quite harsh on ourselves. The truth lies in the actions we take. What kinds of entertainment do you enjoy? How do you feel when you watch people make fools of themselves in front of a national audience? Better about yourself? How much of the news do you watch? How do you feel after that horror fest? Do you feel more informed and interested in creating dialogue with people you may not agree with or do you just feel more fearful, sad and angry? Do you take time to care for yourself? Do you really believe yourself worthy of the time and care? When you feel overwhelmed do you reach for a chemical to take the edge off?

Asana practice this week centers around integration. We will synchronize our many moving physical parts, as well as our breath and awareness to create an integrated whole. When we become immersed in the wholeness of our being, we can put aside thoughts and stimuli that fragment us. As we replace destructive attitudes toward ourselves with appreciation for what we do well and patience for what we don't do well, we won't as easily fall victim to the voyeuristic entertainment and news that has evolved to distract us from our own inadequacies. We won't need to be distracted because we will have less suffering, more joy and as we develop compassion, more people around us who are joyful.

Sit with yourself. Allow space within for whatever you are today. Decide to move with understanding for today's situation. If we practiced this class tomorrow, or yesterday, you wouldn't feel the same and wouldn't practice the same. Honor your internal environment. Care for yourself. Can you find space to be challenged while being accepting?