Presence

Don't short change yourself.

I spend a lot of time in my car. On Rt 29 between Saratoga and Johnstown, someone has posted a billboard that says Are You Here? 

The first thing that comes to my mind is who has the disposable income to be able to put up a random reminder to be present? 

More importantly, thanks for the reminder.

Being present isn't something we do well. It's not taught, nor is it encouraged. Multitasking has become an important part of our society, even though we know it is detrimental. Being the parent of a toddler means that you have to be able to multitask, but it lowers the quality of your performance. 

I've noticed being in a relationship distracts me like nothing else. If I have uncertainty I worry over it like someone picking a scab. I had a conversation with a student recently in which we discovered we had similar tendencies. She is the type to reminisce. She tells stories of what she's done. I'm the type to plan. I spend more of my time projecting what could happen than paying attention to what is happening.

No where is this more evident than in my car. Whether it be going over a situation I feel I could have handled better or imagining what will happen at some point in the future, I'm rarely thinking about the drive. Unless someone is driving in a way that annoys me. It occurred to me that I'm short changing my own life. Have you ever had someone who caused such a strong emotional reaction in you that you think of them all day? It can be either extreme. Someone you think is amazing can bleed into your thoughts all day. Someone you think is mean, stupid or arrogant can take out a couple.
The real problem here isn't that you're thinking of someone else, or that you've reacted to them. It's that you are spending your time and energy on them when they're not around. You're detracting from your own present.

Yoga has techniques which we can apply, practice and thereby increase our capacity to be present. Moving the body through postures linked to the flow of the breath, all the while keeping your awareness on the process leaves little room for wandering musings. That doesn't mean it won't happen, but your intention is the icing. How aware do you want to be? How dedicated are you willing to be?

It can be daunting, especially when you're first starting out. You may have to bring yourself back to the task at hand for what seems like a hundred times. But, you'll gradually find it gets easier.

Spend time this week noticing where your mind leads you. Sometimes it's a distraction from a difficult, stressful task. Sometimes it's laziness, or boredom. Pay attention to whether or not you're paying attention.

Know Thyself

Recently I listened to Kyle Cease speak about the idea of an external locus of control. When we're children we have nothing but an external locus of control. We are born two people, we are born to the circumstances of those people. And then, as parents, we assume our children lie (because they do). When you are only ever at the mercy of your circumstances you learn to become manipulative to get what you want. But, in this crucial time of development we convince our children that we know how they feel better than they do. That mentality becomes ingrained in our worldview to such an extent that there are adults out there complaining that things are happening to them. They've completely given up the concept of creating their reality, of knowing who they are. Because they think someone else knows better. They spend their time manipulating those around them to get what they want. (What they think they want) They blame circumstances they have the power to change without realizing they've come into a position to do it.

This kind of mentality is why we give doctors so much authority over us, how the student/teacher relationship works, how some religions work. And society. Keep yourself small and ignorant and let those who know tell you what's true. 

Yoga offers the practitioner so many opportunities of growth. One if them is the opportunity to move your locus of control from outside of yourself to inside. From the world happens to me to I happen to the world. 

As you begin to peel back layers of conditioning you learn who you are, what your baseline assumptions are and if they're useful. If they're not you can begin to change them. 

Practice this week without falling into your habitual student mindset. Practice without letting your teacher be over or above you. Most teachers want to serve you. You practice in the service of your highest self, not to placate another person, not even your own ego. Keep polishing your perspective until you are a beacon in the world. A lighthouse.