Not Too Serious

Learn to love your duty and do it with a carefree heart.

I have started reading the art of joyful living by swami Rama. One point he comes to again and again is understanding what your duty is in the world and accomplishing it can bring you joy. As a modern American woman who is very grateful to be here and now I have a bit of a reaction to the word duty. It's something that is recent enough in our history to cause a bit of friction when faced with the idea. It wasn't that long ago that women were expected to perform very specific tasks and considered incompetent to perform others. As I have grown into an adult, been a mother and have been on this journey of practicing yoga and thereby understanding myself better, I have come to appreciate the joys of completing what are, currently, my duties.


We all have a list of stuff that we must get done in a day or in a week or in a month. We create conflict and tension within ourselves when we are unable or unwilling to complete these tasks. The dishes. Of all of the household chores this is the one I hate the most. I and my family have gotten a laugh in the past few months that it's now my job to do the dishes. Literally, as a home health aide, one of my jobs is to do the dishes. Here is a lovely example of performing a duty and deriving a feeling of satisfaction from it. I hate doing the dishes but I really find satisfaction in assisting people and helping make their lives easier. So, when I do the dishes for elderly patients who have a hard time standing long periods of time or for my fiancé who is a third shift worker and who is tired all the time, I find myself satisfied by completing those tasks, because I know someone's life has been improved by their doing.


Cooking dinner is another example of something that I don't enjoy. Only since having children have I learned to appreciate cooking a meal. Even in the first couple years of Izic's life I didn't do a lot of cooking.  Now, thankfully, I have a man who genuinely enjoys and is good at cooking. I don't mind doing the dishes if he makes the meal.


As far as duties in the world, that can be a little trickier. There are a lot more variables. Namely, other people. There's a degree of control you have at home that can't be imposed in the world. This kind of challenge can make the reward that much more satisfying. You have to really work for it.


This week we will practice strong, vigorous yoga with accompanying stillness. Can you do serious work with a light heart? Can you find the humor in your seriousness? This intention came to me when Sydonia was running around a studio without any pants on. She didn't care that she wasn't home, or that there were strangers walking outside. She was, and remains, free from the restraints of social construct. It's wonderful. Now, I am not suggesting you walk around half naked. But, maybe you could find a place within you that could have just as much fun being silly. I think you'll find everything is a little easier to take, every job is a little easier to complete, and everyone is easier to love when you look at the world with this new perspective.

Living in Freedom

A few weeks ago we celebrated life. We've been practicing how to live ever since. (And, hopefully, a bit before) Hopefully we can keep that celebratory attitude because living can be tricky. Circumstances will determine the extent to which you have difficulties, but your point of view is going to go a long way to make you more or less stressed. Yoga and its' techniques can help make it a little less challenging. From a fit and flexible body to a calmer, focused mind, yoga is truly a wholistic science.



The idea of freedom in yoga is not only about being physically free. It's not about being free to think whatever you want to think or to live wherever you want to live or to worship however you want to worship. All of those things are necessary to be able to practice in the first place. Freedom in yoga means freedom from suffering. We are free from suffering when we are free of our attachments.
Attachments boils down to an emotional response. We like things that make us feel good, while we hate things that make us feel bad or uncomfortable. This is not about never feeling anything. It's about not being attached to those feelings. Living in freedom means living without conflict. When you make decisions based on old habits instead of on current information, you create conflict within yourself.



This week is all about observation. If you're going to yoga class then chances are that you're there is something about your life that you want to change. Change is impossible without observation. If you don't understand why you make the choices that you make then you're going to continue to make unaware choices that will only perpetuate your suffering. And it can be confusing. You can think that you're looking at things from a different perspective because you've started to take a yoga class regularly, when really you're fooling yourself; reinforcing habits because it's comfortable instead of really challenging yourself to see clearly.


Change up your perspective. Your mind is throughout your whole body. Your brain is your physical control center, but where is your mind? Where do you hold your consciousness? We assume it's in our brain because the brain is still such a mystery. All of your cells hold your consciousness, not just your brain cells. So take your eyes out of the equation. And don't just hang out in whatever hurts. Discover a new area to occupy. How does this shift the way your experience life?


Change can be difficult. I was trimming the dead off of one of my house plants today and it reminded me of the skillful gardener metaphor that I've used before, and enjoy so much. You must let pieces of yourself die in order for the rest of you to grow stronger. Death is a part of life. It is not an end. As you accept the change, you'll begin to notice the trajectory of your life shift. If you resist the change, allowing those useless branches to continue to live, you jeopardize the whole entity. It's when you fear the change that you become stagnant and depressed.


Open to whatever comes up for you in your practice and in your life. Don't analyze or judge. Just be aware.

Compassion

I work every day with people who feel terrible. Either they're sick or they're elderly or they are mentally ill. What I find most common about the majority of them is that they complain. They have pain, they didn't get enough sleep, they didn't like the service they received, their family bothered them etc. etc. I try to keep this in perspective because a lot of them have good reason to complain. And when you're confined to your house your world gets so small that when you see celebrities on TV or hear gossip in the hallway or have someone treat you badly, that becomes your entire world. It's all you think about, talk about.


When I get emotionally rocky I tend toward anger.  I have the great fortune and privilege to be able to be out and about, get a change of scenery to get a change of heart. A little fresh air and a change of pace so I don't typically stay angry for long. It is a part of my personality to be laid-back. I don't typically hold grudges. But when I'm having an emotional day I get pissed off about things. I actually flipped off somebody in traffic. That's very unusual for me. It made me think about the things that people expend their energy doing. Like giving someone the finger. You have to actually decide to act upon that strong anger. Not only are you wasting your time being upset about something that you can't change, (and that isn't hurting you) you're also going to add to it by physically expressing that anger to another person who probably doesn't deserve it. Which, in turn, will cause them to feel something and take it out on someone. I wonder what it would be like if everybody took the time to express the joyful end of our feelings. To feel something positive so strongly that you have to act.


I'm privy to so many hostile energy exchanges. Those between parents and children is the worst. One of my favorite people has dementia. Her and her daughter do not get along. I'll give her daughter credit for giving it a try but mom is obviously different and it's obviously taking a toll. It's interesting to get that perspective on that kind of relationship. I can laugh the things she says off but it's because she's not my mother. On the days that I'm not overwhelmed with my own emotional baggage things like that give me the perspective to be able to let go of what would otherwise bother me in other situations.


So, what would the world look like if everyone acted on the positive emotions they felt every day? Practice this week's class with a sense of joy and wonder at the miracle that is you. Practice with compassion and understanding for your limitations; for all that annoys you about yourself. Give yourself that time and positive energy. Then you can go out and light up someones life.

Concentrate

I recently read an article in which the author described being so completely immersed in books as a child that she had no awareness of the passage of time or activity around her. She then explained how this ability to focus her attention helped her practice yoga and meditation.


I am an avid reader and have been for years. I too lost myself in books as a child and young adult. Though as I grew, I was much more prone to distraction. When I began practicing yoga my mind was rarely steady on the class and its' intention. I didn't even know it. I was discussing my difficulty in keeping my focus in life and was asked how I kept my focus in class. That's when it hit me that I didn't. Savasana was always difficult. Even years later I find myself apt to wander in my attention if I am faced with a quieter pose.
The difference between being immersed in a book an being immersed in myself is the escapism factor. It's the same reason I watch the same shows over and over again. (*cough* Firefly) People in books go places I don't and meet people I don't and speak with people in a way that's free from awkwardness. I read sci-fi fantasy novels to escape the uncertainty and frustrations of life. I watch Firefly too often because I know what's going to happen. There's no question of whether or not the "right" thing is being done. I know how it turns out. The same can not be said for my life. While it continues to show improvement, there is uncertainty, doubt, awkwardness, anger, fear. I have heard it suggested (by myself and others) that your concentration can be increased by your increased fascination with your internal world. It sounds egotistical at first. Swami Rama in The Art of Joyful Living says to read the manuscript of your life as you would any other book. So, can I wrangle my love for reading to include a love for the story of my own life? It depends on how much emotional baggage I can drop.


Meditation is the practice of one pointed attention. We are rarely supported in one pointedness in the modern world. When you can text, listen to music and take a phone call from a device you can use while you drive, you're not required to stay on the one important task in that list. In our jobs we're encouraged to do as many things at once as possible so companies get their money's worth out of our salaries. Our education demands we take many classes at once and retain details of each.When I was young I started reading 5 books at once. I thought it would be interesting to switch up stories. My mother suggested I try one at a time. In college I realized one at a time was not an option. I remember accompanying my mom to a salon so she could get her hair done, listening to music while I read. My son listens to recordings of people playing video games while he plays games.


In yoga classes we are asked to keep our awareness on the current moment utilizing breath and body movement. As we master these aspects of ourselves we can gradually move into stillness and practice meditation. Meditation has two stages, the first of which is concentration. If you learn to concentrate, keeping all of your awareness focused on one thing, then you move to the next stage of meditation. There are many techniques of concentration. Two often used in yoga settings is mantra and visualization. Upon completing every asana class she teaches, my teacher leads her students in meditation practices. We are free to sit still because of the asana/pranayama we've practiced. While we sit, she uses words to guide our attention to specific areas; physical body parts, light visualization, or even the development of awareness of a sensation like gratitude or joy.


If you're unsure of the practice of meditation, or maybe have preconceptions as to what meditation is, take the time to find someone knowledgeable and approachable who can help you in the practice of concentration. Don't set yourself up for frustration by sitting down without physical movement and try to force thoughts out of your mind. You will only create tension in yourself and push yourself further from calm concentration.


This week in class, I ask that you concentrate to the best of your ability on every moment of class. Use the times that you wander to learn what pulls you away from the present. Take the time to notice throughout your week what kinds of thoughts distract you from your everyday. The more aware you become of your tendencies, the more often you'll be able to stay present.